Children are known to self-harm so they can ‘feel the pain they feel inside’. Photo posed by model

The mother of a 13-year-old who slits her wrists is calling for support for parents who discover that their troubled children have resorted to self-harm.

“It’s hard and tiring. Parents need help as well. I have locked myself up in my room countless times to cry it out. I’d say to myself: why is it happening to the only kid I have? We’ve given her everything and I stayed at home to take care of her,” Leah* said, sighing.

She was speaking to Times of Malta after Caritas held an educational meeting about self-harm and personal development.

The feedback it received from the 200-strong audience of parents, educators and social workers will help the agency develop a service specific to young people who resort to self-harm.

About three people who harm themselves are admitted to hospital every day and psychiatrist Anton Grech told this newspaper such cases had to be taken seriously because they could lead to death.

“My daughter was bullied at school and it reached a point where she started slitting her wrists. I realised she was self-harming as she was not removing her bracelets,” Leah recalled.

I have locked myself up in my room countless times to cry it out

But the issue dates back a few years when her daughter started plucking her eyebrows.

When Leah consulted a psychologist, she was told that her daughter was turning anxiety into an addiction. Later, she learnt that pulling out hair was another form of self-harm.

When she started slitting her wrists, Leah took her daughter to hospital and she was referred to the Child Development Assessment Unit. However, she believes the guidance appointments are too far apart and the girl is not seen by the same specialist every time, so she does not feel comfortable to open up. This is an issue several parents have complained about over the years.

Leah admitted that she could not afford to pay for a psychiatrist service any more. Although she was aware of the increasing incidence of self-harm, Leah was not sure what door to knock on when she was faced with the matter.

There was nowhere specific she could go to, especially when she needed urgent help over the weekend. She found support through Paula*, a member of staff at the school her daughter attended.

Paula had spoken to a woman in her 50s who had been through the same ordeal when she was younger.

“She used to self-harm because she wanted to see the pain she felt on the inside. No one could understand her pain and the blood was something tangible that reflected the pain,” she said, noting that Leah’s daughter felt the same way.

“Leah’s daughter told me that while she’s harming herself she doesn’t feel anything but relief. It’s like a healing process.”

The two adults believe that the girl feels overwhelmed with issues like bullying, the passing away of her cat, breaking up with her boyfriend and stress at school and she needs to be taught skills that would help her face such issues.

“Just like other teenagers, she has low self-esteem issues and needs guidance to learn how to empower herself,” Paula said, adding that information sessions about self-harm should also be held with school staff, as there was lack of awareness.

This was a reiteration of a statement by Caritas administrator Albert Buttigieg who told this newspaper that self-harm was the tip of the iceberg of a larger problem of self-development.

* Names and details have been changed to protect the identity of the girl.