I would say that The Wolf and the Seven Little Goats is my all-time favourite fairy tale. It’s the one where mama-goat leaves her seven billy kids at home while she goes foraging in the forest to find food but, before she leaves the house, she warns her kids: “Beware of the Big Bad Wolf!”
Barely has she trotted round the corner when The Wolf knocks on the door, puts on a soft soprano-like voice and then dabs his paws in flour so he can pass off as their pale-pawed mother. Inevitably, they fall for it. He ends up gobbling down six of them (the youngest one hides in the grandfather clock – I always wondered why).
When the mother comes back home, she is distraught to find her kids missing. But – aha! – through her tears she notices the wolf snoring under a nearby tree looking very much like he had swallowed Glenn Bedingfield. Armed with a scissors, needle and thread and with the help of the seventh kid, she quietly cuts open the wolf’s belly and – viola – the six billy goats happily spring out of the wolf’s tummy.
They replace the void in the wolf’s belly with rocks and the mother sews it back up again. When he eventually wakes up, oblivious to the complex C-section worthy of the best surgeon he had just undergone, the wolf feels a bit, uh, groggy and heavy.
As he drags himself to the well to quench his thirst, he regrets being so gluttonous but, alas, that’s too late, he tips over in the well and is – ta-da – trapped there.
Now it so happens that, in the week between Christmas and New Year, I empathise with the wolf. I want nothing more but to lie under a tree and snooze all day and wake up only to go quench my thirst (avoiding wells, of course) and think of nothing else – a delightful food coma.
But, this year, that simple little pleasure has been thwarted. It’s been, yet again, another weird Christmastime. In November, we were full of exciting plans of family meet-ups to make up for the last two years. Then the Omicron virus turned up. Unlike its obscure and dark Delta sibling, this was mild but wild and ready to party in everyone’s body.
This meant that some of us went ahead with the big-lunches plan, albeit with trepidation, but we could not really enjoy the food coma after because of COVID-induced anxiety; while many, many others were stuck inside in quarantine looking at a table set for two instead of 20 and a giant stuffed turkey which will last them till Christmas of 2022.
The length of quarantine period needs to be urgently revised- Kristina Chetcuti
This has become so, so tiresome. As I write this, Malta has gone from a relatively COVID-safe country to the country with the highest COVID spread in the world per capita.
And, at this point, what I cannot understand is why we can’t buy over-the-counter self-testing kits. I’ve been told they’re illegal here, although it seems that, this being corrupt Malta, they can be purchased on the black market.
I think, especially with this Omicron wildfire, home-kits would solve many things. First of all, since it’s become an ordeal to get a slot for an NHS PCR test, we could self-test before a family or friend get-together so as to make the event as safe as possible.
Secondly, at the first signs of a cold, we won’t infect the whole neighbourhood while waiting a week or more to get the NHS PCR test.
Thirdly, we won’t have to book a private PCR test, setting us back a whopping €130.
Can you imagine a family of four that obviously does not want to be cooped up inside for 10 days – having to do the test for €520? With everything going berserk, clearly, the government should now consider giving out self-testing kits for free.
Another thing. The length of quarantine period needs to be urgently revised. If you test positive, you need to isolate, obviously. But if you’ve been triple vaccinated (and, therefore, the risk of transmission is much lower) surely, you can be allowed out after five days (and not the current 10 days) to take another test?
And if it’s negative and there are no symptoms, then you can get on with your life. There should be some proper perks to having taken the risk of the vaccine, otherwise, what’s to spur us on to take the next booster?
It is what other European countries are doing – Italy is even considering lowering quarantine to three days since Omicron seems to be pretty much at par with the common cold and is not overwhelming hospitals. This would mean that: a) people can still more or less go back to work, and b) children and teachers can go back to school after the holidays and there would be a semblance of normality.
We are still on the second day of January and, with the right actions in place, we are still in time to cheer on a year where we can meet our families without fear.
So, here’s to a less weary and more joyful new year full of collective, delightful, wolf-like food comas.