Watching the snowy football last Sunday was like a nostalgic and enjoyable trip down memory lane.
Although all major grounds in England now have undersoil heating, in the games I watched the heating couldn’t keep up and the green grass was slowly replaced by a blanket of white. While that may not have been ideal for puritans looking for perfect football, it made things feel a bit more real and raw, harking back to the days when players had to turn out on imperfect pitches week after week. You know, games played on patchy grass where players would often come off at the end looking like they had been dragged backward through a muddy puddle (in most cases because they had been dragged backward through a muddy puddle).
There was one problem with last Sunday’s matches though – on television it often looked like we were watching 22 grown men running round the pitch chasing an invisible ball. I am guessing the players could see what was happening, and maybe if you were actually in the ground the proceedings were reasonably visible. But on TV it was an almost comical spectacle as grown men chased each other for no apparent reason.
Which begs the question, what happened to brightly coloured balls?
In the past when games were played in snowy conditions, they would dig out an orange or red ball from the back of the locker room and kick that about instead of the white/yellow/patchy ones they normally use. You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to work out this gives you massively increased visibility when the white stuff is falling. Surely that would have made sense in last Sunday’s games unless, and I suspect this is the case, nobody thought of creating an official match ball in a hi-vis colour.
I can picture the product development meeting at Nike where the topic came up and was instantly dismissed. “Everything is heated now, Norman, you can throw away that sketch for the orange ball.” After last Sunday’s games featuring ghost balls, heads may role at Nike. Although if they roll on a snowy pitch, chances are you won’t be able to see them…
Years of hurt extended
For some reason I entirely missed the momentous occasion of Gareth Southgate signing a new contract that will see him remain as England manager all the way through to Euro 24. I cannot imagine how this slipped under my radar and I apologise for the lapse. Oh well, at least it explains why all those people I know who support other countries have been walking around with a smug look on their faces for the past few days…
Oh no, here comes more technology
Semi-automated offsides are being trialled at the FIFA Arab Cup with a view to them being used in next year’s World Cup. This is a thought that fills me with horror.
As we all know, VAR is already a walking disaster when it comes to offsides, with marginal decisions ruining matches all over Europe on a regular basis. And FIFA’s answer to a problem that has been caused by the introduction of technology is to throw more technology at it?
Apparently this camera-based system combines things like ball tracking, 3D modelling and artificial intelligence to give near-instant offside decisions. I cannot think of anything more horrendous or out of keeping with the spirit of football.
Introducing this technological abomination will mean a sport whose true beauty lies in the fact that it can be played anytime and anywhere will take another leap away from its grass roots. Yes I suppose it will eliminate incorrect decisions and speed up the process of double-checking. But I don’t care. I want my football to be messy and controversial. I want it to have moments that make you swear in anguish and others that unexpectedly delight you.
If things keep going in this direction, we will end up with a sport that is more like watching a computer game, accurate down to the last pixel but devoid of soul.
If things keep going in this direction, we will end up with a sport that is more like watching a computer game, accurate down to the last pixel but devoid of soul
Different sex, same competitivity problem
A couple of weeks ago I wrote about men’s international football and how the lack of competitivity was slowly strangling the life out of it. Well, it appears the same applies to the women’s game as well.
A quick look through some of the results in this week’s qualifying matches for the Women’s World Cup makes for startling reading. Armenia 0, Norway 10; Ireland 11, Georgia 0; Spain 8, Scotland 0; Lithuania 0, Switzerland 7; Northern Ireland 9, North Macedonia 0. And, how about this one: England 20, Latvia 0.
I understand that the women’s game is at different levels of development in the various European nations. In some countries it is already professional, televised and growing in popularity while in others it is still at an embryonic stage. Those countries where the sport is still emerging shouldn’t be playing against teams at the top level. It’s just not fair.
Getting walloped 20-0 didn’t do Latvia’s first-choice team any favours in terms of morale or development. And I’m sure it won’t have helped the Latvian FA’s attempts to grow the sport. Neither can winning by that sort of margin have served much of a purpose for England’s women who basically took part in a training match in which they scored a goal every four and a half minutes. These foregone conclusions serve little purpose and only make the sport lose credibility and spectators lose interest.
Let’s hope the women learn from the mess made by the men and adjust their set-up to be more competitive, equal and entertaining. But seeing as they fall under the same governing bodies, I wouldn’t hold my breath.
Twitter: @maltablade