A widower’s “lost faith in human nature” has been restored by strangers who crowdfunded to replace a vandalised memorial seat dedicated to his wife.

Brian Gray was left reeling when he was shown pictures of the smashed up marble bench near the Red Tower, Mellieha last month.

It was installed last year as a memorial to his wife, Anita, who died from cancer in September 2018 and who wanted the bench to inspire others to cherish their loved ones.

Brian's wife Anita, who died in 2018.

“I was in total disbelief that people could do that, especially in Mellieħa,” he told Times of Malta about how he had reacted to the news of the vandalism.

“My wife had donated her body to the University of Malta for medical science… and this was the thanks she got.”

He described how his wife had been diagnosed with cancer 10 years after making Mellieħa their home and, despite being given the all-clear at one point, the disease returned with a vengeance.

When she was told more treatment was not recommended, Anita started imagining her husband on his daily walks alone on his favourite route up by the Red Tower and this inspired the idea of a memorial seat, her husband said.

Its exact spot became obvious to him on one of his walks: the cliffs facing Anchor Bay, where it would enjoy the serene sea view, without encroaching on another hidden seat.

Before and after: The smashed up bench shocked the Gray family, who had erected it to inspire others to cherish their loved ones.

“Knowing she would not sit by my side anymore, Anita wanted me to enjoy the beautiful view after my walks. She wanted other people to sit there too and to think about who they cherish in their lives,” he said.

Anita would have been as happy as he was to see the solitary bench was rarely ever empty, he added.

It meant a lot to many and Keith Marshall, who would stop by with his trekking gang to spend a couple of minutes in meditation, described the eulogy engraved on it as “beautiful, simple, emotive and altruistic”.

A thank you note written on an old receipt Brian Gray found among the flowers he had left to mark the second year of his wife’s death.

Dedicated to the “love of my life” and to “my mum, best friend and sunshine of my life” from her daughter, who refers to her as Nutty, it reads: “Please enjoy the view, peace and tranquillity. Cherish loved ones and those closest to you. Enjoy life.”

Since it was installed in October 2019, the bench has become a special place for many.

One woman said it had “saved” her over the last couple of months as her “go-to getaway spot during COVID-19.

“It has helped me through some tough moments and I am ever grateful for the person who put it there in the first place.”

Another person once left a note for the family, on the anniversary of Anita’s death, thanking them for providing a place people could enjoy while admiring the view.

The music-loving couple had settled in the area 16 years ago, making many friends and integrating with the community, Gray recalled. 

A model of the new seat, due to be installed soon after campaigners raised most of the €4,500 cost through a crowdfunding initiative.

Some of their proudest moments together were performing concerts in the square next to the Mellieħa parish church, him playing the tenor saxophone and his wife the alto, an instrument she had picked up to be by his side.

The vandalism saddened those who said they had the privilege to enjoy sitting on the bench, thinking of the great love the family behind it shared.

Many were disgusted by news of its destruction and Marshall, who runs the Sigma Foundation and got the ball rolling with a Facebook post, said he was unable to fathom who could do such a “bizarre” thing. Maintaining it was no accident or impromptu act.

The granite was so durable that no stone from the area would smash it and an axe – or a force of nature – would have been required, he believed.

His post, showing the wanton damage, had sparked anger and hopelessness at the “heinous crime” that cast a shadow on the peaceful spot.

But reactions also highlighted the possibility of finding positivity in something negative. The post mobilised Marshall’s followers to quickly raise €2,300 from donations.

The day after the shocking discovery, Gray learned that people he did not know were getting together – “out of the blue”. He was contacted by Ivan Castillo, who, together with Roger Waters, coordinated the mission, roping in sponsors as donations in Nutty’s honour flooded in.

Costing €4,500, some €2,000 were donated by sponsors who wanted to remain anonymous and €500 by Central Asphalt, who are doing the logistics for free, while ancillary costs amounted to around €300.

The bench is due to be replaced soon. From being shocked by the destructive actions of some strangers, Gray is now “truly amazed and overwhelmed” by the generosity and determination of others.