The friar with the soft, gentle and caressing voice. I had the great fortune of making his acquaintance in 1975 during the first ‘Sensitivity Training’ weekend held in Malta under the guidance of that other benefactor to Maltese society, the Rev. Dr Alfred Darmanin S.J. whose praises I have already sung in this newspaper in February 2020. From then onwards Fr Alfred became like a brother to me, officiating at my wedding and baptising my two daughters. His was always a welcome presence in our family and I last spoke to him on June 13 when he made his annual call to wish me a happy St Anthony feast.
Both of us being Floriana lads we had much in common, sharing cultural interests, mainly music, literature and, of course, sport. In our heyday we had even started marathon training but then he was transferred to Italy.
In Malta we used to meet twice a week for a swim near the St Paul’s Bay school, passing by Sirens pitch and up to the rocks underneath the chapel, all without stopping to rest. The return journey was in the same mode. Up to a few years ago we were still swimming, though not without stopping, but then his heart started missing beats and he had heart failure on July 20 (a seizure caused by the abominable heatwave) a month short of his 80th birthday. Talk about the absurdity of life!
There were, of course, other types of activities we embarked on, more beneficial to our human brethren, like shoring up marriages or sorting out toxic conflicts.
It’s a pity that in that last telephone call he had expressed his disappointment at failing to convince another priest to help him solve a quarrel which, now that he needed a walking stick, he couldn’t attend to unaided. We believed in ethical living which made us persons of integrity though knowing full well that this belief rarely pays a personal dividend.
Having served his Order for many a year in Italy (apart from a spell in India where the going was really tough) he used to describe these “missions” by turning the phrase ‘salviamo il salvabile’ into ‘salviamo tutto’.
We kept love uppermost in our minds and hearts. He did this out of his christianity and I out of my humanity and on this promise of a celestial reward we agreed to disagree.
Once I bought some shirts and handed one to him still in its wrapping. The following week I saw it on another person and when I asked him about it, he simply replied: “He needs it more than I do.”
Floriana lads possess an evergreen heart able to encompass the world where all our Maltese brethren fit in easily. All people belong to each other because they belong to humanity.
We sincerely went about believing that all you need is love. So, just love, not until it hurts, for it never will, but until you are at peace with yourself.
It does make the world a better place. Love is harmony and Fr Alfred’s heavenly master will not find him lacking in this one.