As social distancing is taken to another level by healthcare workers who leave their families indefinitely to avoid coronavirus contagion, one ‘abandoned’ wife is struggling to follow doctor’s orders. Irene Borg opens up about the far-reaching repercussions of imperative self-isolation that has seen families split and facing their own sacrifices – while putting things into perspective for all.

While A&E consultant Konrad Borg was strongly urging the public through his Facebook posts to stay indoors and avoid the spread of COVID-19, he himself was leaving the family home indefinitely to protect his at-risk wife and three young kids – a move that has left its impact on them even though they know it is for their own good.

His wife, Irene, admits she did not immediately welcome the cautious consultant’s “drastic” fait-accompli decision to move out in the early days, thinking it may have been premature and exaggerated.

“Until a couple of days ago, I would have rather run the risk of contracting the virus than continuing the way I was,” Irene says.

The 44-year-old teacher and mother of three confesses to a meltdown when her husband left the family home, highlighting the far-reaching consequences of healthcare workers’ sacrifices, which can also disrupt and erode family structures and routines.

The issue of their self-isolation goes beyond appeals for accommodation in the headlines and the generous offers of apartments to assist, which Borg also received from close friends and others he hadn’t seen in a while and is grateful for.

Moving out has meant lone parents have had to adjust overnight to carrying the household burdens on their own.

Irene is now starting to find her feet, but she acknowledges that it is no walk in the park: “In my case, Konrad, being a family man, would pitch in with the schooling and bedtime chores, giving me a welcome breather when he not doing night shifts. Now, I suddenly find myself having no respite, and the situation has totally overwhelmed me,” she says.

“The hardest part has been coping with my own work, the nature of which has suddenly changed – I am teaching 240 senior school students Ethics and Religion remotely – and homeschooling my three children with different needs, which takes up a good part of the day.”

The children are hungrier, the kitchen gets dirtier and they are more hyper; their behaviour has changed due to the change of scene

As most parents can attest to, “the children are hungrier, the kitchen gets dirtier and they are more hyper; their behaviour has changed due to the change of scene – school is out and their father left home; they pick on each other and get a spurt of energy in the evening when mine is halved…

“I can honestly say that in my darkest moments, I have seen no light at the end of the tunnel,” Irene states.

“Mentally, I am usually quite strong, but the tiredness was taking over and weakening me, and I was giving up. I am not myself anymore and not as patient.”

Irene says she identified with widowed, separated and single parents, and initially questioned the urgency of her husband’s departure and his determination to leave home, almost ‘envious’ that he would be getting some time-out alone.

However, the reality of the matter is somewhat different, she acknowledges. Irene has been hospitalised in the last 12 months due to a respiratory-related condition and has suffered recurrent episodes of pneumonia in recent years, which make her an at-risk case. Her vulnerable elderly parents also live above the Borgs and need to be isolated, so the cautious consultant’s immediate decision to move out before anyone knew what hit them was almost a no-brainer.

Borg is on the frontline, with Mater Dei’s Emergency Department being the first port of call for persons with serious symptoms such as breathing difficulties.

His “worst nightmare” would not be getting ill, but infecting his family, Irene realises. “My hope is that if he contracts the virus, he’ll be fine, and not that he won’t get it,” she continues, facing the fact that he is in the line of fire and contagion is possible.

Even though she has her own issues to deal with and is still adjusting, Irene can now also recognise his reality: “He is living alone, away from his family and with time on his hands. The daily Skype communication is what it is. The kids would be enthusiastic to speak to their dad, but if he calls when they are otherwise occupied, they can be distracted, while an adult wants a proper conversation.”

Contact is boiled down to bringing home the shopping as Borg still manages to fend for his family by providing for their needs – including a “disinfected” laptop to cope with online learning and teaching for all. Of course, he stands outside, a rigorous two metres away, and has to reject his children’s instinct to hug him.

Meanwhile, Irene is surviving on the support she is receiving from family, colleagues and friends, including those from the Christian community they form part of. It also comes in the form of simple, unexpected and encouraging messages, as well as scriptural quotes that are feeding her strong faith in God.

“People have been more generous than usual… and even the school mums have offered to shop for me – and buy wine,” she says, managing a giggle. 

Encouraging everyone to pull their weight in the fight against the virus, she draws inspiration from a bedtime story she is reading her kids, saying it is not so much about whether the glass is half empty or half full, but about merely having a glass.