“If you know anyone who is taking drugs please tell them to go and do the rehab programme. Look at me now. Tell them: this is how you’ll end up.”

Terminally-ill prisoner Godfrey Ellul, 67, a former drug addict, made this appeal to the Times of Malta, when visited by a journalist during visiting hours at the Corradino Correctional Facility. Mr Ellul, 67, who was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, must serve another six years in prison to complete his 20-year sentence for conspiring to deal in drugs.

His family is seeking a presidential pardon after his request to spend his remaining time with his loved ones was denied by the parole authorities, but Mr Ellul’s hope has practically died. He told this newspaper that at least he wants to use his situation to tell people out there to choose the better path. “Crack cocaine is a heaven for a minute but gives you a lifetime of hell,” he said.

Apart from being locked up for the last 14 years, he has been suffering the side effects of the drug habit. He has lost most of his teeth; he suffers from acute heart problems; he is susceptible to infections; he has severe respiratory problems; and last summer his right lung was removed due to cancer, which has in the meantime spread to his lymph nodes.

Crack cocaine is a heaven for a minute but gives you a lifetime of hell

“The cancer came from a decade of daily crack smoking,” he said. The man, who in his 30s could lift a fridge up a flight of stairs all by himself, is now a shadow of himself, leaning on a stick.

He explains, soft spoken, how cocaine causes a short-lived, intense high that is immediately followed by the opposite, edginess and a craving for more of the drug.

“It’s very easy to get hooked on cocaine. There are no needles involved. The habit is not immediately noticeable to your friends and family. And you kid yourself into thinking that you can stop whenever you want. That’s not true. I started for fun, then I lived for it.”

Terminally-ill prisoner Godfrey Ellul a check-up visit at Mater Dei last week. Photo: Betta Ellul

He got into drugs, he said, to stop the gambling habit. He suffered from a compulsive disorder and became a severe addict to gambling when he moved to London aged 18. “There, I lost all my possessions and my marriage broke down.”

He did not do drugs at that stage “because you need your wits about you when you’re gambling”.

He returned to Malta in 1986 because he wanted to start anew away from gambling. For a while he managed: he set up a new financially successful concept business.

But in 1988, a change in law meant that Maltese people were allowed into casinos. In five years he lost every penny, gave away his father’s inheritance to pay away his debts and did not have a roof over his head.

“I had no money so I could not keep on gambling. That’s when I turned to drugs – I thought it was the only thing that could help me stop my gambling habit.”

From 1993 on he used to smoke between one to two grams of cocaine a day, and soon enough he became a dealer to fund his own habit. His sentence for drug-related offences involves 6.5g of heroin and 3.9g of cocaine and 1.2 kg of cannabis resin in two separate cases.

He regrets the life choices he made that not only ruined his life but the lives of those around him. By sharing and selling drugs to maintain his own habit he knows too that he facilitated others’ habits, making more families suffer. His hope now is that others can learn from his mistakes.

“If you’re a drug addict or a gambler, seek help, go to a programme,” he said.

He spoke matter of factly. There is no drama in his appeal, only the experience and regret of a man crushed by the weight of his own mistakes. “I could have been a successful business man, I could have enjoyed my family and instead I lost everything.”

He is only allowed visitors twice a week for 40 minutes. He is brought down on a wheelchair and then fumbles in the meeting room with a stick.

“Look at me now: dying locked up in a place for 14 years. I won’t even get to see the sea.” He loves the sea and he had always told his siblings that the first thing he’d do when he got out of prison was to jump in the sea for a swim.

Look at me now: dying locked up in a place for 14 years. I won’t even get to see the sea

Now he cannot: after his lung removal operation he had to have a stoma (hole) opened in his right side to prevent the excess build-up of fluid in his chest cavity. This stoma must remain in place for the rest of his days and means that he cannot immerse himself in water.

His application for early parole based on his terminal illness was refused by the Parole Board in January. The petition for a presidential pardon, filed by Mr Ellul’s lawyer Joe Giglio, is now before Justice Minister Owen Bonnici who, by law, must make his recommendation.

“If the President is compassionate enough to allow me out for the few months I’ve left alive, maybe my sister can take me to see the sea one last time. Then I can finally rest at home with my family.”

He recounts one particular incident. In 1997, he fell off a roof while on the run from the police. The three-storey fall really ought to have snuffed out his life, but against all odds he survived.

“It was such a miracle that even the archbishop of the time came to see me. He said to me: ‘Godfrey I think you have a mission, that is why God wants you alive.’ I was so out of it, so hooked on drugs, that in my mind I reasoned that maybe God kept me alive because I was meant to break the casino… my win of the lifetime was out there waiting for me.”

These 14 years of reflection have made him think otherwise.

“It’s not a mission: but at least maybe my story can be used so people don’t follow my same path.”

Where to get help

• People with serious drug-related issues and their family members can contact the Caritas Malta Foundation for Rehabilitation of Persons with Drug Abuse Problems at Outreach, 82, Capuchins Street, Floriana. Tel. 2123 7935.

• Gamblers Anonymous (GA) is also run by Caritas. Contact Caritas Malta, 5, Lion Street, Floriana tel: 2590 6600.