When Gareth the Woke led his team out at Wembley last summer for the final of Euro 2020, it was painfully obvious to those of us who have been following England for decades that it would end in tears. A combination of a manager with the tactical awareness of a bowl of porridge and England’s long and rich history of failure meant there was a certain inevitability about the game against Italy ending in heartbreak.
Today England are playing in another Wembley final but, because this is the women’s team rather than the men’s, I don’t have that same feeling of impending doom.
For the sake of my marriage, I started Euro 22 as a bit of a closet supporter, watching the odd game but desperately trying not to let myself get addicted to women’s football. By last Tuesday’s semi-final, I was all set up on the sofa with an hour to go. I had to fight the urge to dig out an England shirt, paint my face and play Football’s Coming Home on a vicious loop.
And the reason? These girls are darned good. They are fearless, talented, skilful and a joy to watch. And they know how to win important football matches. They didn’t just beat Sweden on Tuesday – and let’s not forget Sweden are ranked second in the world – they destroyed them. Comprehensively and spectacularly. True, Sweden started brightly. But that is the measure of this England team: they don’t let things get them down. Instead of panicking or wallowing in self-pity because things aren’t going their way, they get on with making sure they turn it around.
In their semi, which was coincidentally played at Sheffield United’s ground, the Lionesses gradually clawed their way back into the game before going on to utterly dominate the last hour. All of the goals in the 4-0 win were a joy to watch, but the third, by substitute Alessia Russo, was a thing of sheer beauty. Her first shot was saved but she collected the loose ball, started running away from goal before back-heeling it through the keeper’s legs.
If Lionel Messi or Cristiano Ronaldo had done that, it would have made the world headlines. Sadly, women’s football doesn’t have the pulling power. Yet.
And all of that is why I am looking forward to this afternoon’s final against Germany with a strange and unusual feeling as an England supporter, which I suspect may be a lack of nerves. That’s not to say it will be easy. Or that England fans should be cocky (not the best word when talking about women’s football), because Germany are formidable opponents who have won the Euros a record eight times. But there is definitely something about this England team that doesn’t make you feel like you are fighting a losing battle.
Their manager, Sarina Weigman, despite looking more like a hard-nosed lawyer than a football coach, knows exactly what she is doing. She has a plan. And that plan, at least so far, has been to let the stronger, more robust girls grind opponents down for the first part of the match and then bring on her flair players when the opponents are knackered.
And nobody can question its effectiveness.
Not only are the Lionesses in the final of the European Cup, in Weigman’s 19 games in charge of England they have won 17, drawn two, lost none and scored a rather wholesome 104 goals while conceding only four.
Embarrassingly good.
Of course, football is a funny old game and Germany have the potential to throw an almighty spanner in the works. But whereas with Gareth Southgate dithering on the sidelines I wouldn’t have anything other than fear in my heart, with these girls and their calm and calculating leader, I can’t shake off this feeling that the years of hurt might just be about to end. And yes, in my opinion, if the girls win a trophy, then it does bring the years of hurt to an end, even if it is the men who have been responsible for most of that pain.
From my side, I will be glued to the TV today willing the girls on. For the first time in my life as an England football supporter I am going to watch a crucial match without a feeling of dread from the kick-off. And I intend to embrace that moment vigorously.
For the first time in my life as an England football supporter I am going to watch a crucial match without a feeling of dread from the kick-off
The never-ending training camp
Have you heard what the Qatari team are doing to prepare for this winter’s World Cup? They’ve only gone and embarked on a pre-tournament training camp… for six months.
Now I can understand the logic of wanting to get your squad together nice and early to do a bit of team building and work on tactics. But six months? That’s just nuts!
For starters that means the players will not be playing for their domestic clubs for half a year and that can’t be healthy in terms of competitive football. Yes, the national team will be playing in friendly tournaments and stuff, but it’s hardly the same thing.
Even more than that, though, is the mental aspect. Twenty-seven players cooped up together, day after day, for six months – they will be sick of the sight of their teammates by the time the tournament starts on November 21!
Who knows, this could be the right approach, and maybe Qatar will go on to win this winter’s competition, forcing the rest of the world to suspend their leagues for half a year before major tournaments.
But I suspect it will turn out to be little more than a daft idea with some unusual, unexpected, and possibly unsavoury, consequences.
E-mail: James@quizando.com
Twitter: @maltablade