I refuse to allow myself to join in with the anti-Manchester United masses who were pointing in the general direction of Old Trafford last Sunday and giggling profusely.

An opening day home defeat to a Brighton team who had never won at Old Trafford before was certainly not the greatest of starts to the Erik Ten Hag era.

The performance was no better than anything the team conjured up last season, and there is no wonder that wantaway Cristiano Ronaldo was caught smirking on the bench as his team went behind.

But it’s still early days, and now is not the time to be laughing at United. I suspect the club haven’t yet hit the bottom of this prolonged dip in form and worse is still to come. And when it does, well, that will be the appropriate time to laugh.

Hold on, hold on.

Before United fans write in to give me grief, I would like to point out that I am only joking. In fact, I genuinely want to see the Red Devils become a proper force in the English game again sooner rather than later.

It may surprise you to learn that I don’t take any pleasure from watching a once powerful team reduced to levels of mediocrity normally more associated with the United from Sheffield.

When, in the Sir Alex Ferguson years, they were winning everything for such a long period of time, I admit it irritated the crap out of me. But that is only because, as a neutral, I much prefer a bit of variety rather than watching one team dominate forever.

And let’s be honest, United owned the Premiership for a tedious amount of time.

But at the end of the day, a title battle that involves Man United – even in a small way or for a short period of time – somehow feels more complete and well rounded.

Ninety minutes in, however, and I am all but certain we won’t be getting one of those this season…

The girls got it

In an ideal world I would have written about the Lionesses’ incredible Euro 22 triumph in last week’s column. But I knew I needed to get my Premier League predictions in before the season was properly under way to avoid accusations of backing a horse when the race was nearly run. And, sadly, there wasn’t space to do both topics justice.

The delay, however, doesn’t mean I wasn’t totally overcome with joy that England lifted the trophy in that thrilling final at Wembley.

The win was made all the sweeter in many ways because it came against Germany, a nation that always seems to play the role of conquering villain in England’s many epic tournament failures.

Watching an England captain lifting a major trophy was something I had started to expect would never happen in my lifetime (I might not be ancient, but I suspect I have passed life’s half-time point). But Lea Williamson did lift a trophy. And yes, the Lionesses thoroughly deserved their triumph for being the outstanding team of the entire tournament.

As my wife has enjoyed pointing out over the last couple of weeks, this is a success that adds considerable fuel to the argument that if you want a job done properly, get a woman to do it.

Frankly, I couldn’t care what type of genitalia those England kits were covering on that balmy summer evening. The fact that the players wearing them did their country and their fans proud is all that matters.

Somehow, for the future of women’s football, this tournament feels like a watershed moment that will see the ladies’ game go from strength to strength and enjoy a massively deserved increase in popularity.

A quick fix in Africa

What is going on in the world of Sierra Leone football?

Do you remember those games I talked about recently? The ones in the second division of their national league that finished 91-1 and 95-0?

Well, the teams involved in those games have been allowed to replay them (3-0 and 1-0 if you are interested), which ultimately means Gulf FC (scorers of the 91 goals) are through to the Super 10 phase where they will fight for promotion to the top-flight. As you would imagine, the results of the original games were annulled due to the tiniest hint of possible match-fixing. And the four teams were suspended pending an investigation and report.

However, and this is the bit that gets me, once the investigation was completed and the report issued, the authorities unsuspended the clubs so they could complete their fixtures.

How? Why? What could possibly have been in that report that cleared all (or, for that matter, any) of those four teams of match-fixing? How is it possible that the teams were found even remotely innocent?

I would love to tell you more about the report and its magical powers of exoneration but, in a remarkable coincidence, it hasn’t been made public.

Apparently, the president of the Sierra Leone FA has promised their findings will be sent to FIFA and CAF for them to “look at and advise accordingly”.

But, given the way this whole thing has been mishandled, those reports will probably get lost in the post…

E-mail: James@quizando.com

Twitter: @Maltablade