Whoever is feeling alone on Christmas Day and New Year’s Day can join a free online meeting being organised in the afternoon to alleviate feelings of loneliness that are often amplified on these festive days.
The Zoom meeting is being organised by a newly set-up peer-led support group for men called Isma’ Ħabib.
“Anyone who feels they need support and feels alone for whatever reason – be it because of a life situation, mental health issues, addictions – is welcome to join for free,” said Bryn Kennard, who is organising the groups.
The Christmas and New Year's Day chats will be open to both men and women.
Loneliness remains a major social issue in the community. According to a 2022 survey by the Faculty of Social Wellbeing, 55 per cent of Maltese feel alone. International research has also shown that cases of anxiety and depression spiralled following the pandemic.
Kennard, who is a recovering addict, was encouraged to start Isma’ Ħabib by the founder of the Fidem Foundation, Sabine Agius Cabourdin. Fidem is backing the peer-led support group as one of its initiatives.
Kennard explains that he wanted to create a safe space where men facing mental health issues could meet up, talk and seek support.
In the groups people share similar lived experiences, creating a sense of understanding and empathy. This reduces stigma while empowering people to take control over their lives.
Members often learn how to express themselves more effectively, actively listen and provide constructive feedback, he said, stressing that the groups were not a substitute for professional mental healthcare.
It is ironic that in an age of high online connectivity, people feel lonely
‘I lived in shame’
Kennard, 49, knows what it feels like to face the stigma and be looked down upon by society for falling into an addiction.
“For years I have lived in shame because of this, and because of the way society depicts addicts. To say it and embrace it has liberated me from that shame. I didn’t choose to be an addict, but it is something I have to own and take responsibility for,” he said.
But with time he learnt that his addiction was not a disease or a choice. It was an attempt to escape emotional suffering resulting from being abused as a child.
“I suffered trauma. I wish no one experiences it and I pray for anyone out there who has had to endure what I have. The effect of my early childhood experiences impacted my brain neurobiology and physiology, and, has affected me psychologically, the impact of which I am still really only starting to understand and process. You do not recover from trauma, there is no going back, nor is there any fix, you just learn to carry it better and in healthier ways.”
Now, after seeking help for himself, he is working to help other men seek support to heal whatever is causing their trauma and mental health problems. He is doing this with the support of Fidem.
Agius Cabourdin explains that even though Fidem was set up specifically to empower women through education, their mental well-being was always of paramount importance. “The extension to dealing with men’s mental health was a natural one following Fidem’s experience with WeConnect – an online community to address the crippling loneliness and anxiety that affected people during the pandemic.”
While COVID is now in the past, feelings of anxiety and the need to connect to people are still strongly felt.
“It is ironic that in an age of high online connectivity, people feel lonely as they battle their demons and still feel the need to reach out. With men, the hardest step is the first one: admitting they need help. The next is to overcome the perceived stigma of seeking help. Isma’ Ħabib aims to break down that stigma and provide a safe space for men to seek help without judgement,” she said.
Fidem is also setting up a peer-led support group for women called Bejnietna.
Kennard started organising the support groups every Monday about two months ago.
Since Christmas Day and New Year’s Day fall on Mondays the support groups will be held at 3pm and on these two occasions they will be open to both men and women.
For more information, visit www.ismahabib.org/ and www.bejnietna.org/.
Anyone who wishes to join the online group on Christmas or New Year’s Day can find the link on the Isma’ Habib Facebook page.
This is the link: https://us06web.zoom.us/j/4857692656pwd=OHhUbHRqOE5TR3YzUzdEUUd3MjQzQT09
(Meeting ID: 485 769 2656 Passcode: e9Zzxw)