On October 27 2022, the criminal court passed the final judgment on the case of the contractor and employee who, on June 3, 2004 were accused of the manslaughter of two women – my mother, Mary Zarb, 60, and her student, Nadya Vavilova, 24 – in my mother’s apartment in St Paul’s Bay while she was giving a lesson to Nadya.

Now, 18 years and five months later, I read comments on social media. Many are angry for the lengthy judicial process. Many are hurt by the short imprisonment. Some query why community work was not an option.

I can empathise with the public’s outcry. I understand that the thought that a loved one can be taken away in such circumstances leads to anger, frustration, revenge, hatred and helplessness.

I experienced the loss of my mother through others’ negligence. I felt anger. I wanted and needed to have my mother back. Yet, death is part of life. Some people die a natural death. Others, like my mother, take their last breath unnaturally.

My mother and her student died in the tragic accident which could have been avoided, I was angry. My mother was healthy and active – she did not have to die. I could not be with her, speak and laugh with her, ask for her advice.

I was robbed of the opportunity to take care of her when she would have grown older. I was pained that my daughter was robbed of her then only surviving grandparent.

Imprisonment is the lack of liberty. The restriction of being confined in one room, one building, day and night. The hardship of not meeting family and friends, the lack of eating one’s favourite food, the lack of enjoying  preferred activities. The lack of communicating with others or doing what one wants when one wants. But the greatest lack of freedom lies within the self.

One can feel imprisoned in one’s own thoughts and body while one is free to live in society. Contrastingly, one can be imprisoned and, yet, feel ‘free’ in one’s thoughts and feelings.

Compassion has become scarce. We look at our thoughts and feelings, at what we can gain without taking others into consideration. Initially, after my mother’s passing, I looked at my own and my family’s anger and hurt. I accused the contractor and employee for their carelessness. I was unaware of what the accused were going through.

Time helped me realise that even they were victims of the unfortunate tragedy. Neither of them intended the tragedy to occur. My mother was working  and she died. They were working and ended up at the police station. Who knows what they passed through?

I know what my family and I passed through for these 18 years. I can only imagine the hardships the accused faced. Are not the guilt, fear, remorse troubling enough? Are not the condemning social media comments sufficiently hard? Is not the people’s judgement enough? Does not the humility experienced by the accused’s families and relatives suffice?

Imprisonment does not necessarily rehabilitate. Community work permits restoration of justice- Marie Diane Mule Stagno

My life, and the lives of my husband, my daughter and my uncle changed drastically after the tragedy. I would think that even the accused and their loved ones experienced oppression. Being a victim does not equate wanting others to suffer for their misdoings.

Anger breeds more anger.

Lack of forgiveness breeds more pain and suffering.

Time helped me understand and believe more intensely in forgiveness. Forgiveness instils peace in one’s heart. Forgiveness is also contagious. The forgiver’s peace spreads to family members and friends. I wanted myself, my husband and my daughter to experience peace and not anger, hatred, revenge.

Forgiveness does not come easy when wounds run deep. It is a decision based on choice, will and faith. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting or the absence of heartache. Forgiveness does not mean my mother is returning to us. Forgiveness means living in peace and permitting the persons at fault to live in peace too. I chose to forgive the accused. I chose to live in peace. And so did my family.

We can live more serenely knowing we do not have hatred in our hearts.

I would have preferred that the accused be given community work. Imprisonment does not necessarily rehabilitate. Community work permits restoration of justice. The accused would repay society by making our society a better place.

However, I was not the judge and I respect the final judgment. The court decided. But this is insufficient. Society needs to learn from what happened. I urge citizens to take an active role in enquiring about, and being vigilant of, works carried out adjacent to their homes. I call on those involved in construction to take this tragic happening from a deeper and more conscientious perspective. What should be valued more: property and money or health and life itself? I ask them to ponder: What if it were a member of my own family who died in this way?  All human life is inviolable and meaningful.

I appeal to the judicial system to consider stepping up the hearing of similar pending cases. Every court sitting and deferment reopens the wound. A final judgment without unnecessary delays permits the victim’s family and society to obtain closure more rapidly.

Finally, justice has been made with my mother and her student. I thank all those who travelled this heart-breaking and endless journey with us during  these 18 years and five months for their support and prayers. Ironically, our steadfast and constant support, my uncle, Fr Elias Vella, OFM Conv., passed away only two weeks before the final judgment.

Rest in peace dear mummy Mary with daddy, my uncle and grandparents. Rest in peace Nadya Vavilova.