One day, Vickie returned home from work to find a steak that she had transferred from the freezer to the fridge to thaw, soaking in milk.
She knew that meant only one thing: the man she once called husband had dropped by while she was not at home. Just like that one time her alleged abuser left an espresso cup on the countertop. It was a subtle hint that he was still around.
Despite an ongoing domestic violence court case, and a court application by her lawyer to change the front door locks, Vickie (not her real name) could not legally keep her estranged husband out of the matrimonial house. And when one night he turned up drunk at 4am, saying he wanted to sleep in his bed, she had to let him in.
“He might not have been living under the same roof as me, but he made sure I know he was still around. I was so scared that when I returned from a night out with friends and they dropped me off at home, they would hang around until they made sure he wasn’t hiding somewhere waiting to jump on me. Once indoors, I slept with the bedroom door locked from inside.
“Meanwhile, in court it was unnerving to sit on the same bench as we waited for our case to be heard. I still remember how once, following a sitting, he brushed past me, threatening: you’ll get yours in due time. He knew I was scared – I would otherwise not have waited so long to report.”
Vickie, 35, recalls the abuse started a decade ago. Psychological abuse turned into physical violence early in the relationship, but she feared filing a report knowing she had to live in the same house.
“I didn’t want to tell my mum or friends. My thinking was, that if I’m going to continue a relationship with this man, I couldn’t turn my parents or friends against him.”
But the situation got no better and one day she fled the house, following a beating, wearing just a top and shorts.
“I ran to the police station barefoot. My priority – as I had come to learn – were the car keys and mobile phone. Once at the police station I was asked to go to the Floriana health centre and return with a health report.
“But he was already incessantly calling me on my phone and I had no mental power to go to the clinic and return to the police station. At the end of the day, I always ended up returning home and locking myself in a room until things calmed down.
“The sixth time he beat me up I packed my things and was ready to leave. But after some pleading from his end, I caved in and stayed. I didn’t know where I’d go.”
But when, sometime later, he broke her nose and laptop, she knew she had to act.
“I was sure that if I didn’t do something about it, he would kill me the next time. I called the police, who turned up at our place around half an hour later. I was locked up in my room in panic mode.
“When the police turned up, he exclaimed, in front of them: what did you do to your face?!”
I was sure that if I didn’t do something about it, he would kill me the next time
That time, Vickie followed through – she went to the clinic, got a health report and filed a police report. The following day she spoke to a lawyer.
But the court proceedings were taking long, and Vickie ultimately decided she would not testify against him.
The court freed him of the charges, noting in the judgment that the main witness had failed to testify, weakening the prosecution’s case: “It is not easy for the court to force the alleged victim to testify. The fear that the alleged victim is victimised further, if pressured to testify, is a real one”.
According to police data provided to Times of Malta, between November 2020 and the end of March 2023, the vice squad’s domestic violence unit received 3,838 domestic violence reports, the majority of which are still sub-judice.
A total of 376 cases were exhausted for various reasons, including the alleged aggressor not being found guilty, or the alleged victim withdrawing their criminal complaint. However, the majority were exhausted because the victim refused to testify against their alleged abuser, a police spokesperson confirmed.
Why would she not testify?
Vickie was scared he would retaliate.
“Had his access to me been limited at the time, and he wasn’t allowed to access the house, I would have felt more empowered to testify. I could also have been offered the opportunity to not testify in front of him.
“Court delays don’t help either. Months go by between one hearing and another, and you spend this time hanging, not knowing what is going to happen. I was also told that if I testified against my husband, separation proceedings would have to be taken to court and that would mean I would still be ‘stuck’ with this person to date.
“I was mentally drained, unproductive at work. I knew I could not spend years this way.”
Nowadays, she regrets not testifying against her alleged abuser and she wishes to convince, at least one person, to speak up, report and go ahead with the case against their abuser.
“I know how hard it is to get out of such relationships and report the person you love. I had reached a point where even I doubted my own sanity. You’d ask this person, whom you love and believe loves you back: why did you punch me the other day, and they reply: ‘what? I punched you? Are you going mad’?
“If you don’t have the photos and wounds as proof, you’d easily start thinking you dreamt it all. I spent years feeling like someone was watching me, wherever I went. All I can say is, that despite the threats, four years on I rebuilt my life, returned to school and have my own place.”