Three years ago Kasia Lyczkowska lost her boyfriend as she suffered serious injuries in a horrific traffic accident. She was propelled into a very dark place but continued to crave hope as she questioned: “So, I survived. Now what?”
In the moment of Kasia’s despair, a friend introduced her to a man who had lost a leg to thrombosis. And, as he shared his story of survival and healing with her, the dark cloud started to lift, slowly.
“Noel came to the hospital to see me. As I was listening to his story and trying to absorb his positive energy, I was already getting empowered. Seeing a man who lost his limb but still taking part in marathons and having a more active life than he ever had before was very inspiring to me.
“If his story helped me, the stories like this could possibly help other survivors in their despair,” says Kasia.
Sometime later Kasia set up a website to share her story and encourage others to share theirs – in support of one another. The website provided the answer to the question that had haunted her: “I survived. Now what?”
The answer was clear: she is now in the service for others, creating a platform where survivors can support each other by sharing their own stories and tips of recovery.
Kasia’s philosophy can be summarised by her favourite quote from Ehraz Ahmed: “One day you will tell your story of how you have overcome what you are going through now, and it will become part of someone else’s survival guide”.
Kasia’s story
Kasia, a Polish national, lived in Amsterdam for 13 years before moving to Malta, six years ago, to enjoy life in the sun.
While in Malta she met Boris.
“Even though we had only been together for six months, we both knew we were going to stay together and started to plan our lives. It just felt right… Losing Boris was my biggest injury which created a void I experience even today. He was the kindest man with a great sense of humour and hunger for life, a gentle giant with a heart of gold and a chivalrous way of being, a trait you find very rarely nowadays. I met such treasure and lost him way too quickly,” says Kasia as she lets out tears.
The only concern I had was: what happened to Boris? But nobody wanted to tell me
On June 24, 2018, Kasia and Boris went shopping to Bay Street ahead of the wedding of his cousin the following week.
After leaving St Julian’s, on a motorbike, they headed to Boris’s office and had to drive towards the University of Malta. As they were in the tunnel near the skate park, their motorbike skidded.
“I remember hitting the wall on my right side. I don’t remember much. I didn’t lose consciousness, but I have gaps in my memory. I remember laying down on the ground in my helmet suffocating because I couldn’t breathe,” she recalls. The people who gathered around her were fanning her with towels to give her air.
“The only concern I had was: what happened to Boris? But nobody wanted to tell me. They were just saying the ambulance was coming for us.”
Kasia was taken to hospital and placed in an induced coma for two days. She woke up to the devastating news that Boris had died.
“It is still painful. That was the shock. I didn’t care at that point about me. I was completely numb.”
Half her body was shattered. She broke several ribs, her pelvis, left hip and the right leg was shattered to the extent that the knee had to be reconstructed.
The bones in the right leg needed to be supported by external fixators. Doctors were not sure she would survive as her state was critical due to heavy loss of blood and grievous injuries.
She spent nine weeks in hospital and, for most of the time, she was immobilised. She underwent two operations to save her right leg, as there was the risk of amputation. The operations were successful, and she slowly started a physical recovery.
Hanging on to hope
“For some strange reason, I made it. I survived this. My time at Mater Dei was foggy as I was on so much morphine. But I remember all the kindness and support I was getting from doctors, nurses, friends, family and my employers. It kept me going despite being in a very dark place.”
When Kasia was ready to face her feelings, she started writing down her experiences, as she says, it was very therapeutic.
Initially, she shared them with friends and family who encouraged her to share them with others. That was when she started the website with the help of Boris’s brother, Kurt, and her friend Tina.
“If these stories will change the perception and life of one person for the better, I am done, I will be happy and accomplished,” she says.
Kasia is still recovering. Her right leg is still unstable, and she needs a crutch to support her and attends regular physiotherapy and hydrotherapy. She is still not allowed to drive. After the accident, she also suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder, but she now learnt how to manage the panic attacks that still creep up on her.
“I am in a better place now. I feel much stronger mentally, physically, psychologically and even spiritually. From the place of not wanting to exist, now I start having a hunger for life again. I want to live, and I want to take the opportunity to enjoy the second chance life gave me, I want to live it to the fullest, focussing on my abilities, not disabilities.
“That is how Boris would want it to be too. In his honour, I will continue to persevere and give myself a new life with even more grit and grace. I know he would have loved that.
“At the same time, I will always be remembering his laughter, the irrepressible spirit, the generous heart… the only memories of him that really matter,” Kasia says.