One of my pet hates in football is when a player deliberately exaggerates the after-effects of a foul in a blatant attempt to get an opponent sent off.

It makes a mockery of the concept of sporting behaviour, sets an appalling example for impressionable minds and is, let’s not beat around the bush here, little other than cheating.

I get the theoretical importance of having a numerical advantage on the pitch. (I say theoretical because sometimes a red card can galvanise your opponents rather than demoralise them, especially if they feel hard done by.) But you would have imagined that a player’s sense of common decency and respect for their fellow professionals would outweigh their desire to have an extra player on the pitch.

It doesn’t.

Harry Kane, a world-class star who frankly should know better, was the latest player to employ an Oscar-worthy display of acting to ensure his opponent was sent off for an early bath.

An hour into Tottenham Hotspur’s game with Everton on Monday, Kane went on a mini-rampage, kicking his way through a couple of players to get to the ball. Everton’s Abdoulaye Doucoure took exception to seeing his teammates being assaulted and pushed Kane in the face. Well, I say pushed, but the way Kane hit the floor clutching his face, you would have been excused for thinking he had been involved in a head-on collision with a Mike Tyson fist; or maybe a small asteroid.

It was a pathetic, cringeworthy display of overacting made all the more embarrassing with one of those little sideways glances at the ref to make sure he was taking it all in.

It was a pathetic, cringeworthy display of overacting made all the more embarrassing with one of those little sideways glances at the ref to make sure he was taking it all in

But, from Kane’s perspective, it did the trick and Doucoure got his marching orders, allowing him to go for a quick X-ray to make sure he hadn’t broken any bones in his hand.

Yet while Kane got what he wanted, what was the opportunity cost?

Well, his reputation has taken a much more severe beating than his face did. In the wake of the incident, the media, social and otherwise, was awash with people and pundits describing his actions as shameful. And is that the sort of word a top-class player wants to be associated with? A top-class player who also happens to be England captain? I even saw Spurs fans taking to socials to condemn their star – and that is the ultimate rebuke.

The sad thing is, I don’t think any of that would stop him doing exactly the same thing again in the same situation.

Simply put, there are two different types of players – those that are happy to do this sort of thing and others who wouldn’t do it under any circumstances.

I have seen players take a fist to the face and carry on playing with their nose on upside down and half their teeth scattered across the centre circle – players who are appalled by the idea of giving their opponents the satisfaction of knowing they hurt them.

But they are a dying breed in modern football. And what we are left with are shallow cheaters who go down easier than Stormy Daniels during a presidential campaign...

 

How not to run a football club

The Chelsea circus rumbles on: Spend a quarter of a billion on players; fire a manager who won the Champions League; hire an inexperienced manager with a long-term plan; spend another quarter of a billion on players; insist it is a long-term plan when things don’t go well under the new manager; realise you forgot to buy a striker; back the new manager repeatedly in public; realise you may have bought too many players; fire the new manager after 31 games; put a temporary manager in charge who admits to never having picked a team in his life; panic again when you realise you have a Champions League game against Real Madrid coming up; and appoint a manager who was fired two years ago for not being very good.

You really can’t make this sort of stuff up.

 

An end to period drama

Women’s football has been around for a while, right?

Maybe it has only really started to properly take off in the last decade or so, but it has existed as a competitive sport for a heck of a lot longer than that. So why is it only now that teams – at both club and country level – are realising that white shorts are not the greatest idea for sports stars who may need to play games while on their period?

England have just launched a new kit – swapping white shorts for blue – while Manchester City, West Bromwich Albion and Swansea’s women’s teams have also abandoned light-coloured shorts in favour of darker ones.

Obviously this is a move that makes a lot of sense. The last thing top-level female footballers need to be thinking about while taking to the field is possible leakage just because of the time of the month.

I’m just wondering why it has taken clubs, countries and kit manufacturers so long to realise white shorts are not the smartest idea. It’s not like periods are a new invention.

Of course, there is always someone who goes the extra mile when problems are identified and solutions are needed – step forward Nike.

They have come out with new shorts – being offered to players in all the international federations they sponsor – that come with a built-in leak protection liner.

You would now expect other kit companies to follow suit with these protective shorts becoming standard issue in women’s football.

 

Your say

“Thanks for your interesting article [last Sunday] regarding the takeover of Walton and Hersham by seven university students for only £100. Considering that Walton and Hersham is a ninth-tier club on the verge of folding up, they paid ‘big’ money!

“In 2010, Milan Mandaric paid only one pound Sterling when he took over Sheffield Wednesday (a club which had won four 1st Division Championships, three FA Cups and one League Cup) and always considered one of the big clubs in English Football, when this club found itself in financial difficulties and risked losing their Football League status.” Lino Vella Clark, Owls’ fan since 1960, e-mail.

 

E-mail: James@quizando.com

Twitter: @maltablade