In an unprecedented act of fiscal irresponsibility, the minister for financial cock-ups yesterday made a statement in Parliament on the state of the economy that was later found to be totally truthful.

He was immediately chastised by the Opposition and by members of his own party for this totally unwarranted attack on the values and ideals which we hold most dear.

One of his Cabinet colleagues told this newspaper: "We are elected by the great Maltese public to do our duty, and this does not include statements of verifiable veracity! If the electorate had wanted a government of plausible goody-goodies, they would have elected a government made up of Mother Teresa clones. This is a black day for democracy".

It is understood that the disciplinary board of the ruling party is looking into the matter and it could well result in the imminent resignation of the minister concerned, followed soon after by his expulsion from the party.

Gay couple married in Valletta

Two gay men were this morning married in a civil ceremony at the law courts in Republic Street, Valletta. Renato Debono Sant and his husband Felice Bustamante Borg exchanged vows and wedding rings in the very first legal gay marriage in the Maltese Islands.

After a reception at the Villa Rosa, the happy couple left for a honeymoon touring the massage parlours of Bangkok.

Cleanliness capital of Europe

In a recent poll, carried out among all 25 European Union countries, Malta came top as the cleanest country within the Union.

A spokesman for the EU Commission said: "The draconian new anti-litter laws in Malta have meant that fines of up to €10,000 can be levied against anyone caught littering the public areas of the island". He went on: "This has unfortunately given rise to a new, and in some ways more insidious, problem... in that the streets of Malta and Gozo are now often clogged with people eating their dinner off the pavement".

It is thought that the recent inauguration of the National Heritage Park at Maghtab has also contributed to public awareness of countrywide hygiene.

Maltese speedboat owner wins UN conservation award

Alfred Cornetto Deguara, aged 46, was yesterday awarded the highly prestigious UN avian conservation gold medal. Apparently Mr Cornetto Deguara set off in his speedboat last Sunday afternoon on a hunting mission.

He was reported to be in the offshore area near Little Armier, when he spotted a flock of flamingoes heading for land and, presumably, the safety of the Ghadira nature reserve. Mr Cornetto Deguara was not alone, however; in the vicinity were several other speedboats containing other members of the hunting fraternity. However, none of the other hunters possessed the sort of technology that Mr Cornetto Deguara had available to him, namely a hi-tech pump-action 12-bore.

In a short but sustained burst of fire from said shotgun, Mr Cornetto Deguara was able to outshoot all his rivals at the location. He therefore ended up with a bag of 16 hunters, five speedboats and an assorted selection of shotguns and ammunition. He is now applying for a taxidermist's licence.

Bus driver observes right of way

The unthinkable actually happened in Floriana yesterday. The driver of a No. 46 routed bus gave way on a roundabout to a Fiat Uno proceeding to his right.

The driver of the Fiat Uno, Angelique Ferraro Gatt, was so astonished by this unprecedented act of unprompted chivalry that she immediately reported the incident to the Malta Transport Authority.

An MTA spokesman said later: "Several people have, in fact, reported the incident. We at the MTA take a very serious view of any deviation from normal practices by route bus drivers. I can assure the public that we shall thoroughly investigate the matter, and... if it is proven, the driver concerned will have his licence withdrawn... On the other hand, we may congratulate him and recommend him for the Pope John XXIII Prize for Kindness." But don't bet on it.