Years of sexual abuse scarred a man for life, even driving him to to drugs, yet when he finally found the courage to open up decades later he was told it was too late to take action.

The 38-year-old sexual abuse victim spoke to Times of Malta in an attempt to highlight the silent struggle many others like him face when they decide to speak up.

He wished to remain anonymous because of the psychological trauma linked to his experience.

As the law stands, cases are time-barred after a number of years, depending on the severity of the case and the penalty associated with it. The higher the penalty, the longer the prescription period.

Admitting that speaking out about the abuse he experienced at the hands of his uncle, when he was 14, was not easy, Michael (not his real name) insisted he wanted to share his story in the hope of jolting policy-makers into changing the law.

Describing himself as a timid young boy, Michael said he moved to Malta from the United Kingdom when he was around 12.

He came to the island along with his father and sister and after a few years, together with his sister, he moved to his grandmother’s house.

“We don’t come from the best background so we ended up living at my grandmother’s and that is where the abuse started.

“I remember one night in the beginning, I was asleep and he came into the room. He started trying to put himself on my face while I was asleep,” he said.

“A lot of the times after that, he would walk in while I showered and make me perform sexual acts.”

The abuse went on for about a year or so, Michael said, adding that it only stopped once he had moved back to his father’s house.

The abuse ranged from being asked to carry out sexual acts on himself to being given sleeping pills and waking up to find himself being sexually assaulted by his uncle.

The effects of the abuse started manifesting immediately, Michael said, describing the way he struggled with even the most basic functions of relationships. He would often jump if a person accidently bumped into him and even now he still experiences anxiety when in crowded places.

Later on, Michael also struggled with his anger issues and soon turned to drugs to numb the pain. Owing his recovery to the San Blas rehab programme, Michael said he only opened up after going to therapy, admitting that he feared telling his family about the abuse.

His grandmother, he said, would have “died of worry”, while his father would have resorted to physical violence against the uncle had he found out.

Recently, however, Michael sought the help of Victim Support Malta, a non-governmental organisation that assists victims of crime, including those who were sexually abused.

The NGO helped him get a lawyer’s advice but Michael was immediately told that because it has been over 25 years since the abuse took place, he would not be able take the case to court.

In light of this advice, Michael decided to not go to the police. However, he said he wanted to share his experience to raise awareness about the issue.

“He left me really, really marked and there were a lot of repercussions as a result of what my uncle did,” he said.

“Throughout my life I keep thinking that people can see it in me, through my body language.

“He is still out there, possibly doing what he did to me to other children, and this is the law? There’s just nothing you can do,” Michael asked.

“Do we have to wait until he does that to someone else so that maybe they will come forward in good time?”

‘Victims reluctant to speak out’

Victim Support Malta head Krista Tabone said that each case of sexual abuse is different.

When faced with such cases, she explained, the NGO turned to lawyers for legal advice, with victims being guided according to their particular situation.

She did confirm, however, that the organisation often dealt with cases similar to Michael’s as victims tended to be reluctant to speak up about abuse, especially if it was at the hands of a family member. “We do get people who don’t speak up for a number of years not to upset family members.

“We always encourage victims to seek legal advice as we believe that information about legal avenues allows victims to take an informed decision about what is right for them,” Ms Tabone said.

Do you need to speak to a professional about one of the issues raised in this article? Get in touch with Victim Support Malta on 2122 8333 or info@victimsupport.org.mt