“I am alone and this loneliness is killing me!” How many times did we meet people expressing the above statement?
However, there is a big difference between lonely and alone. Loneliness is marked by a sense of isolation. Solitude, on the other hand, is a state of being alone without being lonely and can lead to self-awareness.
Being alone, therefore, may be good but being lonely is the worst feeling.
In fact, loneliness is one of this century’s worst ailments.
It is not only the problem of the elderly and the marginalised. It is also the problem of our young generation.
One asks: what are the causes of this situation?
Human beings cannot live alone because man is born to live with others as ‘no man is an island’. So, we all need social connections in life and there is no shame or harm in looking for them.
But, nowadays, many people feel so lonely because they are afraid to establish relationships with others. Lonely people are afraid to share their concerns. Unfortunately, they continue to walk alone, engrossed and perplexed by their problems, very often not realising that the others are suffering, too, alone like them.
Is loneliness caused by our culture of frantic activities? Do we need to give way to a culture of relaxation… slowing down…?
We surely need to be able to stop, reflect and listen. There is too much noise in our hearts, hence, we do not listen to God who speaks to us in silence.
The renowned Trappist mystic, Thomas Merton, in one of his writings says that “modern man is afraid of silence”. Modern men want noise to fill the emptiness in their hearts.
St Francis of Assisi was always in search of solitude, to stay alone in intimacy with God and to listen to God’s word. His heart burned with the fire of love towards God and all creation. He enjoyed getting away from the worldly noise of his time.
He adventured on the mountains, in the forests and in uninhabited places to stay in touch with the beauty of nature and always in constant contact with God. He used to fill his heart with the love and peace of God.
He used to talk with simplicity to all God’s creatures and his love for the poor was unconditional.
I believe that all human beings urgently need to learn how to enjoy the virtue of silence. This gives us the opportunity to listen, with the heart, to the silent cry of the lonely people around us. It could be for them a moment of crisis, a moment of decision-making, a moment of fear, a moment of doubts, grudges and failure, a moment of frustration, discouragement or depression.
Many people feel so lonely because they are afraid to establish relationships with others- Fr Charles Cini
After listening to the cry of the lonely ones, we need to do our utmost and act in order to make a difference in their lives. One doesn’t have to be brilliant, rich, beautiful or perfect to care for the other.
One needs to make time to help others, even when one is struggling with one’s own problems.
The capacity and generosity to donate one’s time and attention to others, to listen attentively to their problems, to empathise with their mishaps are definitely invaluable.
Pope Francis insists that “we need urgently to learn again to smile to each other and fill our hears with a new joy. In other words, to give space to God to change us”.
Every sincere act of kindness helps to make the world a little bit better! To address loneliness in the world around us, we need to show more gentleness, politeness, empathy, acceptance, compassion and tender loving care.
To love and to be loved is one of our basic needs. Let us, therefore, open the door of our hearts to others, especially to those who are living a miserable life… to those who are in pain… to those who cry behind closed doors.
Let us make use of the effective tools for social action by reaching out to all those who need our help… by truly walking the talk.
Fr Charles Cini, member, Salesians of Don Bosco