Over the past year, Miriam Cassar’s body has not been retaining food, her skin feels dry and water tastes sour to her. Yet, she does not have a diagnosis as to what is causing her to feel this way.

“I know something is not right. I wish it to go away. I want someone to piece all this together so that I can move forward. This is not a life. I’m trying to exist. I was a person full of life. Now my days are spent going for tests, worrying and generally feeling bad,” says Miriam.

The 63-year-old is sharing her story in the hope of finding answers so she can get on with her life. She is a sociology lecturer at Junior College, but has not been in a position to go to work for the past six months.

“I feel too weak. Whenever I eat, it’s straight to the toilet. I miss my work and want to go back, but first I need answers. I want my life back and want to get back to work.”

Sitting on an armchair in her Mosta home, Miriam holds up a handwritten timeline that maps out when her ailments started in 2021 with sinus problems and other minor issues. But things spiralled out of control last year when her body changed overnight.

Not knowing is a horrible feeling. People who are diagnosed with a serious illness at least know what they’re dealing with- Miriam Cassar

She began feeling heaviness in her buttocks and legs, which even led to her falling and breaking an ankle. Then she started with the stomach aches and the chronic diarrhoea.

As she searched for answers, she started carrying out a range of tests and visiting various doctors and specialists. Along the line, a colonoscopy found some diverticular disease that affected the large intestine, and tests showed indications of a leaky gut. She had a polyp removed from her colon and even contracted shingles and a urinary tract infection, among other issues. But despite the medical findings and corresponding treatments, she has continued to suffer from chronic diarrhoea and weight loss.

Before her condition developed, Miriam was a sociology lecturer at Junior College, but she has not been in a position to go to work for the past six months.

She feels weak and tired, and that her skin has changed in texture. She has been to rheumatologists, endocrinologist, nephrologists, nutritionists and even psychiatrists – the latter after being told that her symptoms might be caused by anxiety.

“I took anti-depressants for a while, but I felt they were making me worse, so I stopped them.”

She continues going to counselling and therapy to understand if any of her symptoms could be triggered by some unresolved issues. But, so far, she has had no answers there either.

Times of Malta confirmed with her doctor that she is now awaiting results to determine whether it is an autoimmune disease.

“The fact remains that my body is rejecting food. Something is drying me out from the inside. It’s a feeling of bodily imbalance. It feels like my body is rejecting nourishment. I’ve been told that the body changes are due to old age and I have to accept it. But aging does not happen so fast. My body has changed suddenly in the past year.

“I’m told that I need to drink water but, when I do, I feel like I’m drowning. Water tastes sour to me. I have a horrible taste in my mouth, everything feels wet and my skin does no feel solid anymore,” she says.

“I don’t know. And not knowing is a horrible feeling. People who are diagnosed with a serious illness at least know what they’re dealing with. I don’t know that I’m fighting. It’s like having a sword and fighting an invisible enemy.

“I just want to know what I’m up against: Is it something new? Something rare? Is it all anxiety? I just need to know,” she said.