As women approach menopause, they often feel “shocked and overwhelmed” by the sudden physical and emotional changes and are left wondering if they are “losing their mind”, according to women who spoke to author Lara Calleja about their experiences.

“All the women I spoke to reported that menopause was a state of shock. That they weren’t really aware of the actual effects of menopause. So, awareness is as crucial and relevant as ever,” Calleja said.

Women also told her about the need for more backing in the form of support groups, as well as free access to hormone replacement therapy, which replaces the hormones oestrogen and progesterone that fall to low levels during menopause.

Author Lara Calleja

The author interviewed 12 women as part of her research ahead of writing a monologue about menopause. Hers will be one of three monologues to be recited during the theatrical project Her Say Not HearSay, to be held during women’s week in March at Spazju Kreattiv. The other monologues in the project, directed by Charlotte Stafrace, will be written by Kim Dalli and Simone Spiteri.

As she shared the insight she gathered during her interviews with the women, Calleja said there was clearly a need for more awareness on the subject as women entering menopause were not finding enough support.

“There is the need for more awareness, among women themselves, society in general and even amid the medical professionals, some of who even prescribe anti-depressants and give no tangible information on what’s normal in menopause and what’s not, leaving you feel in utter limbo (or crazy) on what’s happening to the menopaused body and mind,” Calleja said.

Menopause is defined as a point in time 12 months after a woman’s last period. The years leading up to that point, when women may have changes in their monthly cycles, hot flashes or other symptoms, are called the menopausal transition or perimenopause. The menopausal transition most often begins between ages 45 and 55.

A sudden change

Calleja said that most of the women she spoke to were taking care of parents and in-laws, as well as working and looking after their immediate family. As they juggled all this, they faced internal struggles as they hit menopause with all the changes it brings with it.

“Men’s menopause is not as hectic. Women still have to juggle a lot during menopause. There is the social idea that menopausal women are damaged goods while older men are like an aged whiskey,” Calleja said.

One woman she interviewed said: “No one was going to say it was going to be this difficult. This was such a shock for me. Nothing ever held me back. I did the impossible. Suddenly, menopause came and it was a shock. Suddenly, this body got so tired.”

Symptoms were so bad for me that I was told to start anti-depressants despite telling my doctor I did not need them

The symptoms that the women spoke about included low sex drive, tiredness, mental haze, struggling to shed weight, mood swings, hot flashes and migraines.

A woman told Calleja: “Symptoms were so bad for me that I was told to start anti-depressants despite telling my doctor I did not need them. For me, menopause means the death of my youth and child-bearing years. Also, much more effort is needed to look good, coupled with having a daughter who is in her prime and it sometimes affects my self-confidence.”

More support

Some women felt there was a positive side to entering this stage. A certain freedom stemmed from menopause ‒ in not caring too much about how you look or how others perceive you, the freedom of taking a step back (if they have the economic privilege to do so) and looking forward for menopause to stop and enjoy old age.

One woman said: “Learning to take a step back. Not a step away but a step back, passing on to the next generation… I understand my privilege of being established in my career and economically and I will use my privilege to help or be there for others in their walk through life… I want to watch people flourish now. I want to see myself get old now and flourish in my old age.”

The women spoke about the need for more support in the form of having access to hormone supplements, which are expensive, as well as having a good medical professional who leads them through effective ways of reducing the effects of menopause.

“If your body stops producing oestrogen, how come we are not given free supplements to help us? Why should women shoulder it all alone, especially if they don’t afford the supplements? They are not cheap and women on a small pension will skip taking them, resulting in health deterioration faster,” one woman said.