I think that most of you who got married can agree on one thing: your wedding day is over in a flash. It takes months, sometimes even years to plan, only for it to go by so fast that you find yourself restraining from blinking for fear of missing out on something.
It’s a celebration that marks the first day of the rest of your lives. Plus, you’re likely to have invested a lot of time, energy and money into it to make it at least reach your expectations. Therefore, it is only natural that you want to enjoy every moment and make every second count.
So, when the last piece of cake is eaten, and that last tear is wiped away, then what?
You will wake up to a new life-changing adventure. Still, something may feel amiss. You cannot help but wonder where this feeling of emptiness is coming from. Honestly, it is not something you would expect. You have experienced one of the best days of your life, the ring is still fresh on your finger and you can still feel the prickles of champagne bubbles on your tongue. Then, what could have possibly gone wrong?
The wedding celebration is important, yet marriage is far more so
Sometimes, it’s exhaustion. The pressure of wedding planning coupled with the anxiety of having everything come nicely together on the day itself won’t disappear at the snap of a finger. At other times, it’s a rush of emotion. But in some cases, it’s a little bit more than that.
When compared to the exciting build-up leading to your wedding day, the days after that may feel empty. It is true that some couples are relieved that they are finally through with wedding planning once and for all. However, for others, those postnuptial days may feel anti-climactic. Different couples, different experiences.
However, having worked in the wedding industry for a couple of years, I have witnessed the latter quite a few times. These sad, depressing emotions newlyweds (and in some cases, even their parents) experience are usually referred to as post-wedding blues. Sometimes it lasts for only a couple of days but if not recognised instantly, it can even stretch for months.
So, the question is: what can you do to avoid finding yourself in low spirits after the wedding?
Two words: be prepared. The wedding celebration is important, yet marriage is far more so. It feels like stating the obvious but focusing on your relationship eases your transition to life after getting married. It’s essential to not forget one another in the rush of it all. Going on dates, talking about anything but the wedding and taking breaks from the wedding planning itself is a good place to start. During all the planning, it is just as important to talk about what comes afterwards. Preparing yourself beforehand comes in handy once the wedding buzz dies down.
Also, own your feelings. After getting married, it may take a while to adjust to your new life, especially if it’s your first time living with your partner. It takes time getting used to a new routine and not being around your first family.
You’d be amazed at how many brides and grooms share the same mixed feelings. Experiencing mixed emotions is only natural. It’s a relatively normal process to be going through. The best thing you can do is to open your heart to supportive people. Try to not keep those feelings bottled in. Talk to your partner about it. Remember to communicate, always. Chances are, they are going through that very same thing.
Finally, think about all the beautiful moments that brought you here. After all, you are sharing your life, your hopes and your dreams with your most favourite person. That alone should lift your spirits.