Hundreds of grandparents are denied the company of their grandchildren, according to a foundation that represents them. Now, a court ruling may open some doors. Fiona Galea Debono reports.

A judgment that has handed grandparents the right to seek access to their estranged grandchild is being considered as a “breakthrough” by the Fondazzjoni Nanniet Malta, which says hundreds of others are in the same predicament.

Described as a “landmark” judgment, the Court of Appeal has for the first time ruled that grandparents have legal standing and a juridical interest to ask for access to their grandchildren, “setting a precedent and opening doors for other cases”, said foundation president Philip Chircop.

To date, no provision at law grants grandparents this right.

Typically, parental authority has been interpreted as signifying that if the parents choose not to allow visitation to their own parents, nothing can be done about it.

Now, the case of Italian grandparents, who filed an application to be granted access to their granddaughter living in Malta with their alienated daughter and Maltese son-in-law, has “instilled hope that things will move forward for others too,” Chircop said.

The foundation – set up primarily to encourage grandchildren to keep caring for and appreciating their grandparents – receives many calls from people who open up about similar stories but who often do not take action because it is hard for parents to take their own children to court.

Court decision lays out the path to discuss amending the law

“They would rather lie low and suffer in silence,” he said, adding that many others do not even come forward.

Talks with politicians are ongoing as the foundation pursues its fight for the cause. Its 2017 petition to create a legal structure for grandparents deprived of their grandchildren remains on its agenda, and it has also requested legal aid for them.

The court decision also lays out the path to discuss amending the law, Chircop said.

It is often the case that one partner prevents the other from having a relationship with their own parents; where a separated daughter, for example, returns to her mother’s home and alienates the child from the paternal grandparents.

“Being deprived of their grandparents is traumatic for the children too,” Chircop maintained, pointing out, however, that the foundation is fighting for those who have nothing precluding them from having visitation rights.

The judgement, in fact, did not mean grandparents were guaranteed visitation, but rather, a right to ask for it. Neither did it imply that they could interfere in their grandchildren’s upbringing. 

“Even though it is not an automatic and absolute right,” Chircop said, “there is now the chance to open a case.

“Each one would be judged on its own merits.

“Of course, meditation is preferred and forcing visitation by law is not ideal,” he added.

That first hurdle may now have been overcome, but the next delicate stumbling block is determining the best interests of the child, which is what access to them will depend on.

‘A better chance’

Joseph Abela is at present waiting for lockdown in the United Kingdom to be over so that he can proceed with the case he initiated last summer for his grandchildren to be able meet him.

“I was advised it would be difficult as things stood, but I am relieved I now have a better chance to see my grandchildren,” said the 76-year-old grandfather, who left for Somerset about 20 years ago after his marriage broke down, and has never met the children of his estranged younger son.

“I am ready to go through this and have nothing to hide,” he said, adding that impeding grandchildren – “the flowers of the roots” – from connecting with their grandparents is bound to have a negative and a toxic impact on both parties and deprive the kids of their “heritage formation”.

Describing his situation as “painful” and the effects “drastic”, Abela said his family was most dear to him as he moved towards his final days.

“I have sneaked sight of them on Facebook,” he said, adding that if he met them, it would be “just like I used to be with my own children.

“I had a very good time with them,” he said.

“I would want to listen to them, ask them questions, give them toys, show them around and show them that I am their father’s father.”

‘I wish to hug her for five minutes’

Every single day at 2pm, Maria Gili drives to a hidden spot by her beloved granddaughter’s school to catch a glimpse of her as she walks out to the van.

“She does not see me, but, at least, I do… come rain or shine,” the alienated grandmother said. Sometimes, she drives on to watch her daughter leave her home to collect her.

It has been two years since her daughter, whom she was extremely close to, and her granddaughter, whom she practically brought up, moved out. And she has not met them since.

Gili, 64, never met her daughter pregnant with her second child and learned from others that she recently gave birth to another baby whose name she does not know.

She is among many other grandparents who are deprived of their grandchildren due to deteriorated relations with their own cherished offspring.

Every year, she buys her granddaughter a birthday card and a present and stores them in the hope that she can one day give them to her “beautiful angel”.

Gili harbours no rancour, saying she will love her daughter until she dies. For now, she is left kissing her photos instead of enjoying their once deep attachment.

“I wish to hug my granddaughter for at least five minutes,” Gili said about the immense love they shared.

Aware of the judgment that granted grandparents the right to request contact with their grandchild, she still believes only God can help her.

“You really love your children’s children… almost more than your own,” she said.

“I feel it when I hear someone call out nanna…”