I’m looking out of a misty window as I write this; I haven’t been able to sleep well these past few days so it’s early morning, and some of the few birds who have managed to escape us are happily chirping and flitting about near a puddle. I’m struck by how still the air is, something which I have come rarely to feel. There is always something to queue for or someone to phone.

I have been trying not to write about this; I know that many others will, and I don’t know if I will have anything new to say, but that doesn’t matter either. This is what has been calling to me for the last few days, and it’s this cry that I must answer.

I have been trying to stay away from social media, from having to see the gory details that my imagination has already conjured up, but this too has been a failure. My mind is full of a woman who I have never met and who I will now never be able to walk past in the street. A woman who loved cats and who felt safe enough on our islands to go walking on an early morning as the new year started to unfold. A woman who was never to return home or to her parents who have already lost another child.

I have often used my space here to speak of the female experience, the fact that this hasn’t always gone down well with some of my readers is an indication of how much work needs to be done in our communities. However, what I will never understand is how so many of our supposed educated remain so ignorant in the face of the things that half of the world’s population go through on the daily. In every survey carried out, almost every woman taking part has cited that she has encountered at least one example of harassment in her life. I don’t know a single woman who is completely comfortable walking alone at night.

What I will never understand is how so many of our supposed educated remain so ignorant in the face of the things that half of the world’s population go through on the daily- Anna Marie Galea

Many of my female friends will not travel alone. Some will not even sleep alone. Men have often asked why some females go around in packs at night, not realising that they are one of the reasons why. We are scared to get into taxis alone at night. We won’t take the bus if we are the last one off. Over and over again, it is drilled into us not to tempt fate. Not to draw attention. Not to shine too brightly. Not even old age keeps us safe. We let our guard down and Paulina Dembska’s murder happens just to remind us how unsafe we still are.

And to top it all, instead of people taking a moment to breathe and look at the facts being presented so far, every day has been occupied with people asking why a vigil was necessary or trying to explain away her rape and death. As if that matters at the moment. A life has been snuffed out and if people want to mourn for a sister because they feel sorrow for the way she was taken and can empathise with her plight, why should this cause so much consternation?

It is not true that an entire country cries for Paulina, but those who have felt the hair standing on the back of their neck as someone follows them home and felt cold fear wash over them, do. We are all Paulina.