I think I’ve said this here before, but I still remember the first time I heard the word ‘gay’. My dad and I were watching the television on either Christmas or Boxing Day when Freddie Mercury gyrated on to the screen. Dressed head-to-toe in white and giving a performance that would go down in the history books, my father sadly re-lived the performance that he had seen for the first time a decade before.
He told me that Freddie had died, and that when he was alive, he had preferred men to women and, though I was young, I didn’t really question it. I guess even from a young age I was never led to believe that who you love is a choice.
My parents didn’t have any gay friends so, the next time I was around someone who was openly gay, another decade or so had passed. I’m sure most people who know me will know that I’ve more than made up for those years.
Pride is not just a massive party but a celebration of individuality and acceptance
Despite the fact that I am not gay myself, at this point in my life the vast majority of my inner circle is composed of gay men. They are the people I laugh and cry with. They are the people who help me dissect every small disappointment and rage at every negative message I receive from some of you, my dear readers.
They are my family, my home.
Yet, despite how inherently good many of my friends are, the life they had no choice to live has not been without its many struggles. I have friends who have been beaten up, abused, mocked and ridiculed solely for their sexuality.
The price many have had to pay for something they have had no say in has been a high one; one that has led to internalised and, many times, subconscious self-hate, depression, loneliness and trouble connecting with others. In the words of one of my best friends: “They say we chose this life but who would choose such a terribly difficult life for themselves?”
Following the announcement of Pride Week, which will be coming to a close as this article goes to print, I have seen many comments on the internet from mostly white, straight men saying that if gay people have a march then they should get one too. Such comments do not only marginalise everything that the LGBTQ+ community has been through but also take away from the reasons why Pride is celebrated.
Pride is not just a massive party but a celebration of individuality and acceptance. It is an opportunity for people to come together and feel less alone. It is a moment for us to remember our fallen friends who fought, bled and died for others to have better lives than they did, lives where they are able to express and embrace.
It is a celebration of an existence free of persecution and a remembering of those who are still suffering in Malta and openly persecuted in countries as close as a 50-minute flight from our island.
Although this Pride I will be far away from our shores, I want to tell all my glitter-covered loved ones that I will be with them in spirit, probably wearing a fuchsia feather boa.
For anyone still on the fence about this, I invite them to truly get to know anyone who happens to be LGBTQ+ and then look them in the eye and tell them that they don’t have the right to be happy and with the person they love, no matter their gender or sexual identity.
We are all stronger when we are all free.