In her article entitled The Winds Of Change Are Blowing (October 15), Berta Sullivan wrote: “The battle of the sexes is definitely on and men had better beware”.
Women in the 21st century may boast they are truly independent for the first time in our social history. They may tell themselves and each other they don’t need a man. They can even start a family on their own thanks to IVF techniques. But while feminists may argue this proves women have finally freed themselves from the shackles of dependence on men, an evolutionary psychologist says: “I am afraid they’re wrong.” In evolutionary terms, the huge cultural changes over the past generation amount simply to the merest blink of an eye. It could take another 10,000 years for women to change their thinking.
In simple terms, women are programmed to feel dependent on men. Even though, today, women may be richer and enjoy all the trappings of success, deep down in their psyche they fear they can’t survive alone. These women may be shooting up the career ladder and earning more than the men in their lives but when it comes to relationships men still hold the trump card.
The psychologist mentioned earlier has been “studying patterns of behaviour dating back to the first human societies and constantly analyses evidence that demonstrates the key differences which have developed between the sexes since men were hunters and women child bearers.
Females are smaller in size and weaker than males, so, in prehistoric times, women and their offspring were prone to being victims of predators and violence. They needed the protection and support of men either because of their brute force or because of their social status in the group, which came about either through their physical strength or their personality. That’s why women still look for a male of higher social standing. If a woman had a relationship with a socially dominant male she would immediately get greater access to resources because her social standing is elevated too.
Modern surveys consistently show that women today ape those inherent characteristics by looking for partners who are socially dominant and have the respect of those around them.
Men have a different reason for choosing a mate. The cave man needed to be sure he was raising a child who was genetically his! The best way of doing this was to secure a mate and guard her so she didn’t get the chance to stray! A man’s natural instinct may be to have sex with a different woman everyday but to safeguard his relationship (and secure his progeny) he has been forced into a pattern of monogamy.
Women’s needs were much more pressing. They were unable to survive on their own and depended on the males around them to protect them A woman isolated with a child would have died because she didn’t have the resources to find food.
“These key differences are so deep-seated they still have a profound effect on the way women choose their partners and how they behave in a relationship,” says the psychologist.
Women may have equal earning power but in most cases they still seek high earning husbands they can depend on. It’s so instinctive they don’t even realise it.
When couples meet, a man will judge a woman on her looks and youth. His priorities are whether she’s healthy, interested in sex and can give him children one day. He does not really care how much she earns or her social status.
Typically, a woman’s first question will be: “What work do you do?” It sounds a friendly overture but what she really wants to know is his social position and earning capacity. Is he capable of providing for her children?
Because of his power, even the ugliest politician in the planet has women living up to go to bed with him. As Kerry Kissinger said: “Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.”
“It is understandable for today’s woman in their 40s to feel dependent on a man as, by and large, they were most probably raised by non-working mothers and were their thus dependent financially on their husbands.”
Yet, study after study proves that women in their 20s are just as insecure. Two American researchers presented women with photographs of men.
The first group described as doctors wore designer ties, smart shirts and sported Rolex watches. The second group wore plain shirts, Swatch watches and was described as teachers. The third group wore Burger King uniforms.
Women repeatedly picked the doctors as potential boyfriends even though many of the men in the third group were actually more handsome.
Conclusion: to women a man’s looks are less important than earning power and social standing.
In another study, male and female medical students were asked to pick their ideal mate from a selection of careers. The majority of men chose nurses (true!). Women picked hospital consultants. This shows that, although every bit as financially successful as their male colleagues, these young women still feel they need men possessing power and a high social standing.
In yet another study, physiologists found couples are happier in traditional marriages run on old-fashioned gender lines, where the man is the main breadwinner. The reports showed conclusively women who worked were more dissatisfied with their husbands than those who stayed at home.
One of the experts who conducted the study, W. Radford Wilcox said: “Regardless of what married women say they believe about gender, they tend to have happier marriages when their husband is a good provider.”
It’s not a matter of how much husbands help in daily domestic chores but their income that matters most.
He says: “I suspect women will never feel truly comfortable earning more that their men. The need to rely on a man is driven by such a deep-seated biological urge I cannot see it ever being eradicated completed.”
A survey carried out recently concluded that many women who are the main breadwinner hold it against their partner for contributing less to the household budget than they do. While these women might like the material rewards of their high salaries, they also dislike the responsibility, perhaps reflecting the inbuilt genetic imperative to rely on someone else.
Finally, while women may claim they are having cosmetic surgery, Botox, going on strict diets (giving rise to anorexia and bulimia all in their desperate need to look slim and youthful!) purely to feel better about themselves , the psychologist believes “the reason is much more complex”. “Women are driven by a primeval urge to keep their men by looking youthful and fertile.”
Fear not men: let the wind blow! Women are still happier being cared for by a powerful man!
Sexist? Maybe! True? I guess so!