A single mother lost the rights to social benefits when her new partner moved in to live with her and her children – a common situation that shed light on the unclear obligations of step-parents, a conference heard on Thursday.

“When does a single mother stop being a single mother? What are the obligations of a step-father, especially in such early days?” questioned Prof. Sue Vella as she spoke about the need to reform policies to reflect the growing number of blended families in Malta.

She was speaking during the first international conference on ‘Strong Blended Families: Understanding What Works’ organised by The Malta Foundation for the Wellbeing of Society, in collaboration with the University of Malta.

The conference builds on research that Vella co-authored – in 2016 and 2023 – together with University of Malta academics Prof. Angela Abela, Prof. Suzanne Piscopo, and Allison Zammit Said.

In a blended family, also called a step-family, one or both parents have children from a previous relationship, and have combined to form a new family. Parents may be in a same-sex or heterosexual relationship and may, or may not, have children with each other.

Challenges of blended families 

Vella listed a range of challenges faced by blended families. These include: the stress brought about on their relationship by lengthy court separation cases, issues surrounding the property rights of step-parents and their rights over inheritance to a property they call home.

The first international conference on blended families was held. Photo: Jonathan Borg

She spoke about the need for step-parents to develop parenting agreements to clarify matters regarding their rights and obligations. The conference of international scholars, researchers discussed a range of issues that included the "outsider" vs "insider" feeling that people in blended families must navigate as well as the struggles that children face in terms of showing loyalty towards one parent over another. 

53% divorced people in a new relationship 

The only glimpse into this reality in Malta was shed in the 2016 study commissioned by the President’s Foundation for the Wellbeing of Society. It had shown that 53 per cent of those who were divorced and 37 per cent of those who had separated, were now in a new relationship.

The 2023 study built on it and involved interviews with blended families who were managing to make it work. Researchers interviewed seven mothers, seven step-fathers, eight children and four biological fathers. 

Prof. Angela Abela presented the main findings to those present. She stressed that the importance of communication between the couple - who placed the childrens’ wellbeing at the centre - emerged clearly.

MFWS chairperson Marie Louise Coleiro Preca. Photo: Jonathan Borg

Even the children found that communication was an important factor. In a video – in which child actors re-enacted the words of the children interviewed – it emerged that children valued being involved in big decisions such as being asked when a step-parent was going to move in to live with them.

One 17-year-old, who was 10 when his parents separated, called on step-parents not to stand in the way of their parents' communication.

Abela stressed that navigating a blended family was very sensitive.  Despite the 2021 Census, data on the number of blended families was still unavailable. The research uncovered the need for such data to inform policy to address this growing reality. 

Malta Foundation for the Wellbeing of Society chair Marie-Louise Coleiro Preca proosed the establishment of a dedicated network of scholars, researchers, and academics focused on blended families.