The Planning Authority, in its infinite love for all things urban, is finally and irrevocably saving Sliema. Our prize real estate patch in Malta is being given its due makeover.
A delegation, consisting of the PA chairperson, the Sliema mayor and a cabinet minister, descended on Sliema to announce earth-shattering news. They are about to transform Sliema’s abandoned state to one the town deserves.
Fifteen niches, yes, a full 15 of them, are, the men from the highest authorities declaimed, going to be given a makeover.
A couple of days later, the same PA, but this time I’m not sure if a whole phalanx of planners and developers attended, gave another piece of welcome news for Sliema folk.
A statue of Tony Nicholl was going to be erected in St Anne Square.
I have nothing against niches or footballers. Far from it. But who the hell cares about niches and statues?
Why insult the people of this suffering island and, especially, the people of Sliema with such bizarre news? As a resident of this island, and more so as a resident of Sliema, I just cannot stop laughing at such idiocy. And as that horrendous cliché goes, I’m only laughing to not cry myself silly.
The niches, I’m sure, are pure works of art. Hopefully – but in this land hope quickly fades to despair – the art commissioned, the statue of the famed footballer, will be a wondrous piece. Unlike the rest of our inane public art. Why do all, or nearly all, statues of people look so wrong, grotesque and outdated in style?
But let’s let art aside. Before installing the statue in St Anne Square, I do hope that, at least, those responsible will clean up the square and make it look slightly less shambolic.
On the other hand, perhaps whoever is responsible for the way Sliema looks wants the statue to be grotesque, ugly and in shambolic surroundings. Fits in perfectly with the image of Sliema and most of Malta.
Sliema, or so our real estate gurus state, is one of Malta’s prize patches where return on development investment is highest. This makes sense because the area, in brochures, and in our memory, is rather a gem.
A walk through every street, every nook, every square centimetre of Sliema is a nightmare- Victor Calleja
It would also make perfect sense if the stakeholders all see it – or should have seen it – as a gem to be treasured, looked after, kept shining, given special treatment.
In a world where people were saner, the developers, the restaurants, the cafes, the shop owners, the authorities, the investors, the rental moguls would all have made a concerted effort to turn this place into a green, mainly pedestrianised, fun-to-be area.
Instead, greed and idiocy took over and Sliema has fallen into the trap of rampant, uncontrolled development – or, rather, regression – which has ruined it.
Money spent on niches won’t solve the problems which seem insurmountable in the present mad rush to build, destroy and turn everywhere into a dump.
But the planners should start planning, the authorities should start revisiting their ways and businesses which earn their money from the legend of Sliema being a wonderful area should start doing something now.
A walk through every street, every nook, every square centimetre of Sliema is a nightmare. Potholes everywhere, pavements a shambles; dirt, garbage and total neglect is visible and palpable. The dust, the noise, the noxious air quality and the overall confusion add a wonderful assault on our mental health and well-being.
Forget niches, forget statues, forget grandiose plans.
Just get down to the nitty-gritty of reversing all that is wrong with Sliema and the whole island before it is impossible to ever get this place to shine and to be a true place of sliem (peace).
Clarification: in the days following the publication of my previous article, Times of Malta reported that Andrew Azzopardi had not been found liable for plagiarism. It is only fair that I record this fact here.
Victor Calleja is a former publisher.
vc@victorcalleja.com