A Malta-based actor, who could not be near his mother when she died from coronavirus in a UK care home on Wednesday, is urging elderly people to stay home to protect themselves from the “wretched illness” that causes people to die alone. 

“It was very difficult for me and my family not to be able to be with my mother. This is a pitiful and wretched illness. None of us are immortal. But I don’t think people are understanding one thing: If you get this virus you don’t only die. You die alone, without your loved ones. I live in the south of Malta and I still see elderly people out and about,” said UK-born actor and director Stephen Oliver who has been living in Malta for seven years.

Two elderly people died of coronavirus in Malta in the past 24 hours. 

Stephen's 89-year-old mother, Edna Oliver, died in a care home in Cheltenham on Wednesday evening after being diagnosed with coronavirus on Sunday. Although there was a nurse with her when she passed away, none of her family members could be there. 

Actor Stephen Oliver, with his mother, Edna, who died from coronavirus.

His mother had dementia but otherwise, she had no major health problems. She will be cremated, according to her wishes, but only two relatives will be allowed to attend the ceremony – Stephen’s brother, who lives in the UK, and his wife. Stephen and his family will have to remain in Malta as flights are not operating due to COVID-19 containment measures. 

The last time Stephen saw his mother physically was in September. In February he went to the UK but could not see her since care homes were already on lockdown. Since then he spoke to her via Skype, having last seen her virtually on Wednesday shortly before she passed away.

The family plan to meet in the UK for a celebration of his mother’s life once the pandemic is over. Until then, Stephen has a message for people – especially the elderly who are more at risk - to abide by the health authority’s recommendations and stay home: Because they are not just facing death - they are facing dying alone.

Edna Oliver is the reason her son Stephen became an actor.

“Dying alone has always been my worst nightmare. I was by my father’s side when he died. I held his hand when he took his last breath. That, to me, was an important part of the grieving process,” he says adding that he could not be there for his mother – the “great lady” who is the reason he became an actor.

When he was 12 his mother took him to see a play and there were 
auditions for Oliver, the musical. She encouraged him to audition and he was chosen from among some 300 children. Stephen eventually trained as a professional actor at The Webber Douglas Academy of Dramatic Art in London.

“She saw every single performance I was in while in the UK. What’s so sad is that my mum could not be there when her mother died and she never forgave herself,” he says. 

He is comforted by the thought that, towards the end, his mother was not fully aware of what was going on around her because of dementia. “She used to ask for my late father… And now she’s next to him. She got her wish.”