‘Make sure you close that window well,’ one text message read as Maya* closed the window of the shelter she was residing in.

Despite living in a domestic violence shelter away from her aggressor, Maya still received such threatening messages. The idea that abuse ends once a woman enters a domestic violence shelter is far from reality.

Her abuser, an uncle who she lived with as a minor, used to abuse her physically and began to stalk her as she grew older. He not only asked other family members to stalk her but also unknown individuals.

“As I walked down the street, I was always aware of the people around me and scared of anyone who would walk behind me. I began to feel like I could not trust anyone and began to not leave my house.”

A report of the Council of Europe Group of Experts on Action against Violence against Women and Domestic Violence (GREVIO) shows 20 reports of stalking in Malta in 2018; however, professionals argue that many other cases go unreported.

Maria Mangion, family services manager at Fondazzjoni Sebħ said that stalking is a behaviour which truly affects the victim, even after they have approached the shelter for help.

“There is this misconception that a woman runs away from all her problems when she enters a shelter, but in reality, there are cases when the stalking and abuse gets worse,” Mangion said. She said all women in the shelter have experienced stalking in their relationships, either when they try to leave or once they have left the relationship.

I began to feel like I could not trust anyone and I  was not leaving my house

The mode of stalking varies, from the aggressor simply following the victim to sending threatening messages.

Such behaviour normally remains unreported because victims think they will be blamed for the behaviour or will not be taken seriously enough.

“As practitioners within the field of domestic violence and gender-based violence, we have witnessed stalking not only at the point of relationship break- up but also throughout subsequent stages of the victims’ trauma recovery.”

She explained that the professionals, together with the victim, review the risks and develop a safety plan which aims at protecting the victim and their children.

Mangion said society needs to stop thinking that stalking is not a serious matter. Victims need to be empowered to report such abuse, as such behaviour can lead to serious violence and even fatalities.

“Unfortunately, women feel they cannot report about stalking as they are scared that they will be judged or not taken seriously enough. We need to give victims the support and empowerment to move forward.”

Maya, who had spent years in and out of domestic violence shelters, explained how at the beginning, she could not trust professionals who wished to help her.

“I felt like I could not trust anyone, not even those professionals and carers who wanted to help me.”

At the shelter, the professionals, carers and residents gave her the time and space she needed to open up about what happened to her. Making the first move to seek help and move to a shelter was not an easy one. It meant she had to leave her life behind in search of a better one. “I was resilient to keep working hard to improve my life and situation.”

Despite having the courage and determination, she still faced a number of challenges and, at times, wanted to give up.

“When I fist came to the shelter, I stayed inside most of the time, scared that my family and other people I don’t know would be looking and searching for me. There were many difficult times but I kept hope close to me.”

Now, Maya has been living independently for over a year and wishes that her story sheds light on the abuse and trauma that stalking leaves behind on victims. “Speaking to other women in the shelters and those who are now living independently, the effects of stalking never truly stop. I am aware that many victims face this, and unfortunately, there are women who do not live to report their partners’ stalking.”

Maya said that at the shelter, there were many professionals and carers who supported her and gave her the time to begin to trust once again. “There were moments when I wanted to leave the shelter but the professionals helped me every step of the way; without them, I would not be where I am today.”

Fondazzjoni Sebħ is a shelter which provides holistic services for victims of violence against women and their children.

A professional team made up of social workers, support workers, psychologists and care coordinators are there to ensure the right support and care is provided to these women and their families. The shelter offers communal living arrangements to provide the space for women to develop independent living skills to support them to live a life free from violence and abuse.

*Name has been changed to protect the identity of the woman.