Welcome to The Money Coach, a Times of Malta column where readers can ask questions about life's money issues. Send your questions about personal finances, inheritance, gifting or other personal finance topics to moneycoach@timesofmalta.com. 

Dear Luca,

I am a 29-year-old architect and have been in a relationship with my soon-to-be husband for the past three years. I’m a regular reader of your column, and I tend to agree with most of your advice on how couples should discuss and manage their finances.

That said, I now find myself needing your advice.

I’ve always been careful to save and spend less than I earn, and this has This has allowed me to build a solid financial base over the past few years.

Unfortunately, the same can’t be said about my fiancé. He has accumulated a significant amount of debt, primarily from a car loan and several “buy now, pay later” purchases he made over the years.

My concern is that by marrying him, I might unintentionally put my financial health at risk. Because of this, I’ve been thinking about suggesting the idea of us signing a prenuptial agreement to protect myself.

I don’t feel very comfortable about it, but it seems like a practical solution that could work for both of us.

How do you think I should approach this? I have no one to turn to or compare my situation with, as very few couples I know have made such an agreement. I also have no idea how my fiancé would react to it.

Best regards,

Worried Bride-to-Be

Luca Responds

Debt can often feel like an unwelcome third party in any relationship.

As someone who is also a saver and a planner, I understand where you’re coming from. It’s completely natural to want to protect the financial stability you’ve worked so hard to build.

A prenuptial agreement might seem like a practical solution. That said, it’s important to approach this conversation with care.

Personally, I believe that the relationship should come first, before finances. But if you’re truly set on this path, there are a few questions you need to consider:

• Is the amount of debt too much to handle?
• Are you worried that you might end up paying part of it?
• Have you both already discussed whether you want to keep your finances separate?

If you’ve already talked about these issues and reached an agreement, then I don’t think a prenup is necessary. However, if these matters are still unclear, or if you want to be absolutely certain that what you’ve discussed will happen, then it may be time to bring up the prenup.

If your relationship is strong, a conversation about money should follow naturally. Nevertheless, I have rarely met a couple who didn’t grimace at the idea of a prenup, at least here in Malta.

Usually such agreements are regarded as an agreement between 2 persons who have considerable assets, or at least one of the parties has significantly more assets than the other.

In your case, from what you told me, there doesn’t seem to be a big difference in assets, even though he has ‘significant’ debts.

That is why that before starting a conversation on a prenup, reassure your partner that your primary goal is to build your marriage on a solid foundation with clear expectations. Let him know that you’re not looking to create any division, but rather to ensure that you both have a shared understanding of your financial future.

The most important aspect here is trust. Remember a prenuptial agreement doesn’t have to imply a lack of trust. Instead, you can explain that it’s a way to ensure that money never becomes a source of conflict between you. It’s about protecting the love and respect you have for each other.

With the right approach and understanding, there shouldn’t be any issues. Yet, if problems do arise, then now is the best time to tackle them, which is much better than if they had arisen whilst you’re married.

If, after discussing it, you both agree that a prenup is the right choice, it’s essential to consult a qualified legal advisor. This will ensure that the agreement is fair and reflects both of your interests.

I’m a big believer that strong relationships trump over anything, and I am positive yours will as well.

Luca is the founder of the Money Coaching Hub. Email him your financial questions or your response to today's question at moneycoach@timesofmalta.com for a chance to be featured in a future column.

Disclaimer: This column is intended to provide general information on various topics related to personal finance. The information provided is for educational purposes only and should not be construed as personalised financial advice for your specific situation. Financial decisions are highly individual and can vary greatly based on your unique circumstances, goals, and risk tolerance. The author of this column is not authorised to provide financial advice. Before making any financial decisions, it is recommended to seek professional financial advice from an authorised financial advisor.