The President has a backbone of steel, possesses decisive leadership, is willing to puncture conventional thinking, is a mythical character, is breathtakingly expansive, is generous and visionary and is one of our greatest leaders. The President is, he says, immune to flattery, is one of the greatest US amateur golfers and wants his name on everything, including his bathroom accessories.
That’s what the President wants us to think.
The President wants an end to policies promoting diversity, equity and inclusion (and similar ‘divisive ideologies’) designed since 1964 to end discrimination and ‘wokeism’. The President wants an immediate end to ‘investigative activity’ by the civil rights division of the Justice Department including those related to police activities.
And, because he wants the people to be given clear moral leadership, the President also wants a White House Faith Office and a task force to ‘eradicate anti-Christian bias’ within government.
That’s what the President wants.
The President doesn’t want some of the people born here to be a part of ‘us’, because they are really a part of ‘them’ or ‘not us’. The President has carefully studied the law and he tells us that the law allowing ‘them’ to be ‘us’ has been interpreted wrongly. To protect us from them, the President will fight the law, the judges and the Constitution, because they are wrong and lack ‘common sense’.
The President wants to turn Gaza into the Riviera of the Middle East; then Israel will ‘give’ ‘us’ Gaza and the Palestinians will have peace, security and beautiful houses somewhere else. The mass grave that is now Gaza will become our own beach front development paid for by others.
‘We’ will also be taking back the Panama Canal and getting Greenland - for the ‘protection of the ‘free world’, because China and Russia are ‘all over the place’.
That’s what the President wants. Oh, and he also wants Canada as well. What’s more, the President is also renaming the Gulf of Mexico as the Gulf of America because, well it sounds better and makes us ‘feel’ great again.
The President doesn’t want any of that ‘green wokery’ and is, again pulling us out of the silly Paris Climate Accord, similar to Iran, Somalia, and Yemen. The President is also blocking offshore wind-energy permits, so the country can safely and securely ‘drill, baby drill’.
Importantly he is also bringing back plastic straws because he knows paper ones don’t work.
The President won’t allow mention of climate change on any government website and is proposing to end spending on climate-linked infrastructure development, because the country clearly does not need any climate ready infrastructure.
This is what the President wants because he knows a lot about science.
The President wants all federal employees to be loyal to him and his values and to make sure that they implement his policies. He wants a specific date by which they have to (voluntarily) give him control over their careers or risk him taking control over those careers.
All staff must follow the instructions of his unelected and unaccountable ‘special task force’ run by his close friend, the world’s richest man. Because together, he tells us, they are the world’s smartest and most intelligent people.
And the President wants everyone to know that this has absolutely nothing to do the authoritarian power wielded by tin-pot dictators in other times or in other places.
The President wants to end his own trade agreement with Canada because he says it is not working properly and allows illegal drugs and migrants to come here. He says that the argument that Canada (or Mexico) should do the same to prevent illegal firearms going there is completely different.
The President wants to end participation in the World Health Organisation, wants to close humanitarian aid projects, he wants sanctions on the International Criminal Court and wants the UN to stop being the UN because the people there are not very smart.
The President knows this because he has carefully studied international affairs.
The President wants us to understand that there are only two genders, and all government policies, passports and signs must indicate this. The President’s orders forbid any other ‘options’, there will be no LGBT, only (maybe) LGB.
That’s what the President wants, because he knows a lot about sex and gender,
The President wants the country to be great again just like it was sometime in the past (around 1870, he says). The President knows what is best for us, for our women and for our country (and for Palestinians), and those who disagree are losers, traitors, extremists or Marxists.
The President knows us, holds us close to his humanitarian heart and will make us richer than we ever dreamed possible. This, he says is because nobody could be a better President than the President and everyone accepts this.
Reflecting on the greatness of this President, we are so fortunate that nothing similar could happen here.