Bernice Cassar is dead. I think we can now agree that when it comes to high-risk victims, protection orders are not worth the paper they’re printed on.

Once a victim qualifies for court protection, we know that it’s already too late. If someone has made up his mind that you are dispensable, then a hefty fine, let alone life behind bars, won’t change his mindset. (And, yes, I have used the masculine pronoun but only because women are far more likely to experience repeated and severe domestic abuse.)

A legally binding protection order, sadly, is not a ‘red flag moment’ for the police or courts and there is no sudden extra wall of protection for the victim. At present, any subsequent violation of that order is not treated any differently from another routine report. A sense of imminent and critical danger is lacking. There’s no immediate response, no arrest, no detention, not even increased monitoring and surveillance.  

So, when the victim’s aggressor breaches the existing protection order and causes actual harm, she will have to start over, file another report, sit tight and wait patiently for the police to investigate. If and when the report is investigated and action taken, the victim will then have to wait yet again for the case to be heard in court. That might be several months, or even several years. That is not protection.

I can understand the importance of due process and appreciate how important it is for the police to tread carefully to ensure that reports are neither vexatious nor malicious. I am also aware that much has been done to address domestic violence in recent months. Yet, the bottom line is that, by and large, repeat reports and breaches are still not taken seriously enough and victims not fully supported.

The system as a whole is still far too inflexible and incapable of affording victims the individual and dedicated attention they both need and deserve. Add to that the fact that there are no real consequences for protection order breaches and this sets the tone:  the abuser will always be ahead of the game.

Things need to change. For a start, there ought to be tougher (and immediate) consequences when an order is breached. And perhaps protection orders should be combined with electronic tagging.

But why are women, far more than men, placed in this terrible position? There are various cultural and behavioural explanations: male low self-esteem, controlling and coercive behaviour, patriarchy, an aggressive predisposition and toxic jealousy that is usually the result of unresolved childhood trauma and a dysfunctional upbringing. Bullies are invariably weak and insecure – cowards who need to assert themselves over the weaker and more vulnerable. 

The recent TV series Bad Sisters – which I think should be required viewing for everyone, especially the police and the judiciary – delves into longstanding emotional and psychological abuse. It tells the story of a woman and her daughter in an abusive marital/parental relationship. The series has an uncanny effect, offering a refreshingly honest take on a sinister and desperate world of silent terror and manipulation, shedding light on just how insidious this type of emotional manipulation can be. 

It also teaches us something else – that even good, decent people have it in themselves to commit murder when they reach breaking point. And it follows, of course, that the threshold for the less socialised and rational among us is significantly lower. In saying this, I am in no way downplaying the seriousness of domestic violence. And I’m certainly not justifying femicide.

There are lawyers who file false reports as a way of creating a strategic advantage in custody proceedings- Michela Spiteri

But I do want to mention the ‘system’. When a woman is murdered by a partner, we immediately blame the system for failing her. How, therefore, and where is it failing? Lack of enforcement, lengthy proceedings, court and police delays, lenient sentencing and a deficit in appropriate support (including proper access to legal aid funding) are possible explanations but there are others reasons why the system is not only ignoring but also perpetuating failure at its own (and everyone else’s) peril. 

Most people who have ever set foot inside the Family Court will agree that the ‘system’ itself can and indeed does play a significant part in driving people over the edge. There are, for example, false allegations of abuse that are sometimes too easily believed by the court.

There are lawyers as well who file false reports as a way of creating a strategic advantage in custody proceedings and, in so doing, set in motion a domino effect that ultimately does the greatest disservice to people like Bernice. For every report which should be taken very seriously, there are three which should not but which still need to be investigated. This overload not only clogs the system but also desensitises it. The wheat and the chaff are never properly sorted. 

But it is not women alone who are the losers. In separation proceedings, men are quite often marginalised as inferior or, at least, secondary parents, something that finds support in the Family Court where mothers are nearly always granted primary time with the children. And while there may be good reasons for this, it is definitely something that needs to be examined more rigorously. 

I am not talking in any way about Cassar’s case. I have no knowledge of the details and it would be irresponsible of me to speculate. But I do believe that we need to be completely transparent and thorough if we are really serious about getting to the bottom of things.

Of course, there are violent and dangerous men about but it is also true that some fathers are repeatedly side-lined (and financially crippled) by the system and end up doing one of two things: either disengaging completely or taking matters into their own hands.

A man who feels he has lost everything – that is to say, his wife and his children – may feel he has nothing now to lose or to live for. He must, therefore, be either helped or contained. And, in both cases, before it is too late.