Soon-to-be parents are outraged about a decision to not allow fathers to spend time with their partner and newborn child, beyond the birth itself.
New rules introduced as part of COVID-19 restrictions mean that while expectant fathers are allowed to attend their child’s birth, they must leave the hospital as soon as the mother is set to start post-natal treatment and is transferred to the relevant ward.
Thea and Tyron Tabone, who are just one month away from their expected birth date, blasted the measure as “excessive and inhumane.”
“We are worried not just about ourselves but also about the thousands of parents out there who are faced with this situation,” Tyron told Times of Malta.
Their main concerns, outlined in a petition that had gathered over 3,200 signatures within 18 hours at the time of writing, are mainly about increasing the already massive load of stress and anxiety that accompanies the process of childbirth.
“Fathers should be allowed to stay with the mother before and after birth. They are an essential part of the process to ensure a healthy birth experience for both parents and the newborn child,” the petition reads.
The petition also mentions post-partum depression (PPD), a mental health condition which can beset a mother after giving birth.
It argues that PPD is already a problem of its own and that the restriction prevents the mother from having the support of her partner afterwards.
“This is not only cruel but also null and void and ridiculous, seeing that people are still being allowed to meet up and party, even though these families have been isolating for weeks to prepare for birth,” the petition statement continues.
Tyron also said that he would understand the restriction “if we were in total lockdown and the authorities were taking no chances with anything.”
Thea and Tyron Tabone. Photo: Facebook“However, in this situation, where households are still allowed to mix, religious activities can still occur, and private events are being held, how does restricting parents from sharing this moment together make any sense?” he asked.
“This is discriminatory and wrong. Why can’t I spend time with my wife and child if I get a swab test and it comes back negative? Why can’t I support my partner?” Tyron added.
The Tabone family is just one example; another very anxious couple who spoke to Times of Malta but preferred to remain anonymous for personal reasons, echoed many of their concerns.
“I hope they based this decision on a proper risk assessment. Although I understand the need for COVID protocols given the current situation and the massive strain on hospital resources, I don’t think I can accept giving up this moment,” the expectant father said.
The couple explained that although they are still eleven weeks away, the idea “is absolutely terrifying.”
”So a wedding with 300 people is completely fine, but cherishing every single moment of our first pregnancy together isn’t?” the father asked.
Repeat practice
Maltese health authorities had already restricted partners’ visits to hospital during the first wave of the pandemic one year ago. At the time, a leading doctor had argued that the practice was a fair compromise.
“It’s a tough decision, but the concept of protecting the medical and midwifery staff in order to be able to have the numbers to deliver the standard of service that our mothers deserve is an important one to take on board when discussing these measures,” Mark Formosa, president of the Malta College of Obstetricians & Gynaecologists, had said back in April 2020.
Those restrictions were lifted heading into summer, as COVID cases declined.
Local couples are not the only ones facing such restrictions: the UK, Ireland and Germany have all introduced rules forbidding fathers from attending maternity appointments, early stages or labour or even childbirth at various points over the past year.
That has however not tempered couples’ annoyance. A locally-created Facebook group named ‘Having a baby - the COVID experience’ is chock full of posts from fuming parents unnerved by the directive’s orders.
The 3,800-strong group is awash with posts by scared parents coming up with plans to overturn the directive or simply posting supportive comments to each other.
The Tabone family also created a Facebook page titled ‘Our body, our birth our voice.’
They explained that they were doing all they could to reach out, and other parents were catching on quickly.
“After losing all that blood and possibly getting stitches, do the authorities seriously think that the mother will have the strength to feed her baby? The partner needs to be there,” one person said in a post on the group.
Others discussed how fathers must be present to help the overwhelmed mother calm down and settle worries about whether the child will be healthy or anxieties about when the mother and child will be able to go home together.
Fathers also took umbrage at being referred to as ‘visitors,’ with many arguing that they had been extremely cautious throughout pregnancy only to be left out of hospital appointments and now, even the post-natal phase.
Most posts overwhelmingly condemned the directive especially in light of the fact that there weren’t enough adequate, restrictive measures in place to stop the spread of COVID-19 in general and that this was not going to help change that.
“Close the schools, stop all the construction, ban sports, shut the takeaways and close the churches and then preach to me about stopping the spread of COVID,” one person said in the group.
“This is a total disgrace,” they added.