I would like to take this opportunity to congratulate the Premier League on displaying levels of step I thought were humanly impossible.
When I first heard of the plans to hold 10 English top flight games in foreign countries my instinct was to check the calendar. Surely it must be April Fool's Day, I thought to myself.
But, after watching Premier League chief executive Richard Scudamore on television I realised this was, in fact, a serious plan and that it will, in fact, go ahead by 2010.
No matter how much he tried to dress up the proposal as a 'way of expanding the international appeal of English football', it was strikingly obvious it is all about making more money.
The Premier League is a victim of its own success. So popular has it become that it has reached saturation point in England. Clubs can't squeeze any more money out of the fans, television or advertisers so they have been forced to look abroad as a way of increasing their already sickening revenue streams.
Under the proposal there will be an extra round of matches in the season - the 39th game. All 20 clubs will go abroad to play this round of fixtures, which will be drawn by lot with the top five teams seeded so they don't meet each other.
The games will be staged, probably in January, at five venues around the world with places like Beijing, Sydney and New York among the frontrunners. An absolutely ludicrous proposal with many major flaws.
Firstly, this will be extremely unfair on the fans. How can the average supporter be expected to fly his family from Wigan to China to watch a potentially crucial match? Even if he could get time off work, it would cost him thousands of pounds. He could watch it on TV I suppose if he wants to get up at 4 a.m.
Secondly, aren't the major clubs constantly complaining about having to play too many games in a season? Arn't the physical demands on the players supposed to be too high already? Aren't our top players already drained? So why a round the world trip in the middle of the season?
Then there is the issue of popularity. You might be able to pack out a foreign stadium if Manchester United are in town, but what if Fulham are drawn against Reading? How many Aussies will be tripping over their barbies to grab tickets for that one?
Finally, and probably most importantly, the true idiocy of the scheme means that by seeding the top teams the title could be decided by the luck of the draw.
If Arsenal were to draw Derby, for example, that would be an easy three points. Chelsea might get Spurs which would be anything but. Arsenal win, Chelsea draw and Wenger's team go on to win the title by a point. The Championship would effectively have been decided by lottery.
The most disturbing point of this plan is that all 20 clubs which make up the current Premier League - blinded by the promise of further riches - voted in favour of it. They took to the idea like Ashley Cole takes to loose women - passionately and with little thought of the consequences.
I have tried, believe me, to find some positives in Scudamore's proposal. I have tried to find a silver lining in among this darkest of clouds. But there isn't one.
The domestic fans don't care about the international appeal of English football. It's their game, their clubs and their fundamental right not to have something they deeply cherish messed around by greedy chairman and a gluttonous governing body.
When asked by a reporter if the Premier League would take the proposal to the fans and let them vote on it, Scudamore said no. That's not the way they do things, he snapped.
Of course not. Because the fans would tell him where to stick his monstrous idea. And that would mean less money for him and his chairman pals. And that, after all, is all they care about.
Dull but effective
Over the past few decades us England fans have had it all. Passionate over-achievement under Robson, long-ball cluelessness under Taylor, spiritual misguidance under Hoddle, cheerful ineptitude under Keegan and thoughtful failure under Eriksson.
This was followed, as we know only too well, by the McClaren era - a 14-month spell in which he cunningly combined all the very worst elements of his predecessors in one disastrous package. The Titanic of football management.
Now, however, we have a new man in charge and he has brought something entirely different to the England table - grown-up football.
Wednesday night was Fabio Capello's first game in charge and, although it ended in a 2-1 victory over Switzerland, it was anything but exciting.
In fairness he had only had three days with his players - not nearly enough time to leave his mark on the team. Despite that, however, the first signs of what he is all about were clearly in evidence.
Gone were the kick and run, hit and hope approaches that we have seen over the years to be replaced by considered possession and careful passing. Running around like headless chickens was out, getting men behind the ball was in.
It was, as I said, the first signs of England trying to play grown-up, serious football the way our continental contemporaries have been doing for years.
During the first half the players looked nervous and confused by the new system. Expecting the average England international to actually think while playing football is like expecting Britney Spears to spend a quiet night in reading Shakespeare.
And, if the players were slightly uncomfortable with this new way of playing football, the fans were downright irritated. In the 36th minute the boos started as England passed the ball around the pitch in an endless circle often going from the Swiss penalty box back to their own keeper.
Supporters used to a more kamikaze approach to football were just not prepared for this studious style. After years of spending their international nights out with a party animal, they were suddenly lumped with a librarian. And the change wasn't going down well at all.
If it wasn't for a bit of Joe Cole magic on the wing and a decent finish by Jenas I think it is fairly safe to say the boos at half time would have been as loud as anything under the McClaren era.
From a personal point of view the thing that worried me most about the first 45 minutes was how boring it was. I don't watch international football to be bored - I get enough of that at club level by watching Sheffield United.
This was mind-achingly dull football capable of sending an insomniac to sleep. It reminded me very much of watching the Italian national team 10 or 15 years ago when they would grab a goal and sit back to defend for hours on end.
But the Italians have moved on since then. Which makes me wonder: are England so far behind in evolutionary terms that we still have to go through the boring stage to reach an entertaining and successful stage?
In fairness the second half was much better especially when Fabio brought on a second striker even if this did, bizarrely, mean Rooney playing on the left wing.
There were positives to be taken out of this match. Joe Cole and David Bentley were excellent. And there were negatives too with Ashley Cole and Wes Brown looking anything but international class.
Fabio himself said he was pleased with the overall performance. And for a man who insists winning is everything I can understand why.
Personally I will reserve my judgment for now. Part of me was happy to see England play 'intelligent' football but a bigger part of me still believes that entertainment should come first at international level.
Of course I will probably change my tune if Capello manages to end the 42-years of hurt we have now had to endure. I just hope he doesn't bore us all to death on the way.
Faith in the fans
So far so good. Events to mark last week's 50th anniversary of the Munich air tragedy have, up to now, been dignified, emotional and impeccably observed.
Even the minute's silence at Wembley on Wednesday night passed by without any significant interruptions, although if the referee thought that was the full 60 seconds I am surprised the match itself wasn't over in half an hour.
However, the acid test comes today at Old Trafford when Manchester United take on their fiercest rivals Manchester City. This is the real moment of truth - can City's fans put aside their rivalry long enough to pay proper tribute to the dead?
To be perfectly honest with you, I have a sneaky feeling that the tribute will run smoothly and that the silence will be perfect.
No doubt there are some idiots among football fans - some real idiots - but somehow I don't think even they will have sufficient stupidity to ruin the occasion.
In my experience when you fear the worst as far as football is concerned, something happens to restore your faith in the beautiful game and those who follow it.
And I just have this feeling that this afternoon's match is going to be one of those moments. Fingers crossed.
sportscolumnist@timesofmalta.com