The brutal murder of Chantelle Chetcuti has sparked a surge in the number of abuse survivors seeking assistance.
Since the stabbing last Sunday, a service to assist such survivors received four new calls a day from terrified women, up from three per month.
The 34-year-old mother-of-two, who was stabbed at least five times in the head and neck, had refused to stay in an unhealthy relationship, according to her family.
Her murder, for which former partner Justin Borg pleaded not guilty, has seen increased calls for an end to violence against women, including a protest in Valletta on Tuesday.
It has also seen an increased number of women contacting SOAR service, which is provided by the Jeanne Antide Foundation.
Elaine Compagno, a survivor who leads the service, told Times of Malta that SOAR usually assists three new cases in a month.
At any one point in time, the service supports at least 30 women and their children, some of whom require help for several years. In all, throughout 2019 SOAR supported 112 survivors of domestic violence.
Over the phone, victims are guided on where they can find specialised crisis and protection services and how to take precautions for their own safety. People can also get in touch online and ask for guidance on how to support someone they know who is in a toxic relationship.
The callers feel trapped and scared and ask for information on where they can report, what happens if they report, and what options exist if they do not want to file a report, Ms Compagno said.
“We discuss risk as people need to understand risk. Victims receive a lot of advice to ‘just leave’ and ‘run’ but they don’t know that the finality of a relationship can mean that the perpetrator is more likely to commit serious harm or even murder.”
The concern expressed by the callers included the fact that children did not want to make a drastic move during exams and find a place to live. A shelter is only temporary, and the caller said she could not afford to rent, even with a subsidy.
Apart from the new callers, SOAR was contacted by women who are already supported by the service, but who felt shaken by Ms Chetcuti’s murder.
Femicides tend to happen when a victim is leaving or has left her aggressor
“Many have suffered flashbacks and were very upset upon realising how close they themselves had come to dying. Some are still afraid of what might happen even months and years after having left the abusive relationship.
“At SOAR we have a tight-knit community of survivors and the peer-support has been crucial for survivors to feel grounded and supported. Women check on one another to make sure they’re OK and have someone to talk to about it all.”
In 2019, SOAR had twice as many repeat clients as it did in 2018.
This means that when things start to settle for a survivor who has left an abusive relationship, they start suffering the consequences again.
Prolonged difficulties include housing issues, vexatious court cases or police reports, psychological harm, stalking or refusing to bring back the children after a visit.
‘Why didn’t she leave?’
Violence in relationships is very insidious and whenever victims examine and question abusers’ behaviour, they always have an excuse for it, Ms Compagno said.
“Very often, after years of being accused of being the reason for the violence, the victim starts to believe she is to blame. So, she tries everything to fix the situation.
“If only she didn’t do that thing that he keeps telling her he doesn’t like, or if only she would anticipate his next feeling, thought or mood. If only she didn’t have so many opinions about everything, if only her mother didn’t call so often, if only she lessened her work hours or stopped working to be there for him, and on and on.”
The victims have never been responsible for the violence, Ms Compagno said, and yet they become increasingly isolated and trapped, shattered from unrelenting psychological abuse.
As the woman increasingly depends on her partner and the violence and threats get worse, she becomes very afraid.
“She is afraid to talk to anyone, to reach out, to upset or anger him. Even if he has never laid a hand on her, she knows that he could very well kill her. And the truth is, femicides tend to happen when a victim is leaving or has left her aggressor.”
That is why it was very concerning to see many on social media advising abused women to “run a mile” or “just leave him”. Leaving is a process better guided by crisis specialists at Appoġġ rather than social media, because of the risks involved.
What can be done?
The state should take victim and survivor protection more seriously, make access to a temporary protection order far easier and quicker and introduce electronic tagging.
“We’re talking about preventing loss of life. Society needs to do its part on challenging the misogynist attitudes where women are treated as property.” SOAR provides support over the phone, face to face, and in a group and has recently started a social enterprise aimed at opening the door for survivors to gainful employment.
Look up SOAR MALTA on Facebook or log on to www.antidemalta.org/soar-hub1.html for more information, including on how to help with the renovation of a hub, which will be hosting, among others, the social enterprise Meraki. You can also send donations through Revolut number 7734 7791 (type SOAR Hub in note field).