In the weeks leading up to March 2, Carmel Pace feels the weight and anxiety tied to this day, he told Times of Malta on the second anniversary of his wife’s death in a Ħamrun building collapse.

“Leading up to that day, I can’t focus, I’m still lost, my life has been changed forever.”

Miriam Pace was buried under the rubble in her family home in Triq Joseph Abela Scolaro on March 2, 2020. The incident, which came after a number of other buildings adjacent to construction sites collapsed, triggered an outpouring of public grief and anger.

But while efforts have been made to introduce better safeguards in the construction industry, the loss of Miriam has been hardest on those who knew her best.

I am a lost man. We had a stable, beautiful and happy family but our joy has been snatched away from us- Carmel Pace

“I try to wear the mask of happiness and pretend that things are okay and that I’m getting on with my life,” Pace said.

“But at night, when I lay my head down I cannot help but feel the veil of sadness falling around me. I am a lost man. We had a stable, beautiful and happy family but our joy has been snatched away from us.

Fractured family

"Miriam's smile used to light up the whole house. I would walk in stressed and frustrated after a long day and just one look from her would be enough to lift my spirits... that’s irreplaceable, I can never get that back.”

The loss of his partner in life has been particularly hard on his family, which Pace said has been fractured in a way that is very difficult to repair.

Miriam Pace was found underneath the rubble of her collapsed home. Photo: Mark Zammit Cordina

“Of course, I miss her so much, especially when I’m alone, sick or fragile,” he said.

“I cannot turn to her for comfort, I can only sit beside her picture frame and cry or go to the cemetery and speak to her for a little while.

“The day it happened, it’s a very hard day for me, I can’t even bear to be around other people, knowing that the day is approaching, it fills me with anxiety.”

Despite this, he knows that Miriam would have wanted him to make the best of the situation.

“I’m trying to live my life, I’m trying to keep moving forward because that’s what Miriam would have wanted,” he said.

He credits his children, Ivana and Matthew, for providing a shoulder to lean on, even as he prepares to move into a new home.

“It’s hard to get excited about it because it does not feel like it’s something I can look forward to,” he continued.

“Luckily, my children, particularly my daughter, are taking care of all the process because I have no energy left for it.”

While thankful for his family’s support and comfort, he laments the impact the loss of Miriam has had.

“Our family can never be the same. We were like a three-legged table. If one of the legs is snatched away, can it ever stand upright again?”