The idea of having a large family is lovely to many but also not quite realistic.

During a conference organised by the National Commission for the Promotion of Equality, economics lecturer Rose Marie Azzopardi said today’s Maltese child-bearing generation needs to have at least three children for the population to increase.

Women in Malta currently give birth to, on average, just one child in their lifetime – the lowest fertility rate in the European Union.

Couples are also having children later on in life. Their financial struggles are spiralling with the increased cost of living and property prices. Once they get to the ‘baby’ topic, it is very unlikely that their decisions are based on population regeneration.

In most cases they plan their family based on their dreams and realities: what they want and what they can handle.

When the first child arrives, it is overwhelming. There are the physical, emotional and psychological changes the woman faces while both have to reorganise the life (and relationship) they knew around their new family member in terms of finances and logistics.

As research tells us, in most cases the woman does the most ‘reorganising’ – and the policies in place are not doing much to change this.

The current 10 days of paternity leave, as opposed to 18 weeks for mothers, means the men keep up their work momentum while the women slow down and enter the caring role. Many get stuck there.

A recent study conducted by professors Anna Borg and Liberato Camilleri showed a stark divide in caring and domestic responsibilities: just under 47 per cent of women said they performed most of the childcare duties, compared to one per cent of men.

Household chores remain predominantly the responsibility of women, with 51.5 per cent saying they perform these tasks compared to just 5.9 per cent of men.

It comes as no surprise that nearly twice as many women (46.1 per cent) as men (24.6 per cent) said this imbalance impacted their fertility decisions.

Coping with having more than one child is often just too tough in terms of energy and resources needed. And this is where support is most needed if we are to encourage couples to have more than one child.

The above-mentioned study made many valid suggestions that include the need for policy interventions to address gendered role disparities such as training programmes to help couples better share domestic responsibilities.

But more is needed. This has to be reflected all round: at home and at work. We need to improve work-family balance policies, leave entitlement and increase financial and housing support for families.

These were all points mentioned in the study that also proposed reviewing policies on early childcare and considering paid parental leave as an alternative to early formal childcare during a child’s first year – because parents want to stay with their babies for longer and this benefits both parents and children.

Another proposal revolved around extending school hours to better match working hours – a proposal that conjures up mixed feelings in many. Because we are asking parents to put their children in school for longer hours.

We are asking children to spend longer hours away from home. Why? So both parents can work longer hours, earn more money and pay more taxes.

The children will adapt. Yes. But is this what parents really want? Is this what children really want? What they really need?

The cogs of the economy will keep turning – by churning out workers. But at what cost?