Young couple campaigns against divorce

The vows they took to remain together “till death do us part” are still fresh in the minds of Mireille and Pierre Cordina, who are adamant a divorce law will do society no good.

“We married each other for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us part. Marriage is for life. We can’t be offered a loophole,” Mr Cordina, a 33-year-old DJ, said.

His 29-year-old television presenter wife echoes the same sentiment and they discard the notion that their stand is somehow influenced by the flush of being relative newly-weds.

The two, who tied the knot three years ago, have become the youthful faces of the newly established Marriage Without Divorce Movement.

The Cordinas, both public figures due to their jobs in the media, are the perfect example of young, successful urbanites. They live in a tastefully converted farmhouse in Żebbuġ; their living room is dotted with mementos brought from their travels and a vase with fresh roses lines their dining table. But, they insist, married life is “not all rosy”.

“We’ve had our tiffs and disagreements. It’s not all rosy. It’s a give and take. But we constantly work hard to make it work,” they said, finishing off each other’s sentences.

By their own admission, quality time is a constant struggle. During the week they only end up meeting late in the evenings. They both work long hours, juggling full-time and part-time jobs. Even setting up the interview required lengthy synchronised scheduling on their part.

“We barely have time to enjoy our house, except on Sundays,” they concurred.

Yet, despite their limited time, they joined the no to divorce movement as part of its nine active members. What spurred them to it?

“I am a financial controller and a DJ, not a sociologist, but if I see something that is going to break down the family unit then I feel I have to speak up. You can’t be neutral on this issue and we feel divorce would have a negative impact on society,” said Mr Cordina.

Since the inception of the movement, several young people have been opening up to him while he deejays at parties.

Mrs Cordina said she herself had a “live and let live” approach to life but when it came to marriage it was important people realised they could not get into it with a “then we’ll see” attitude.

So if their marriage had to break down, would they remain single for the rest of his lives?

“I did think this through,” said Mr Cordina, consciously edging closer to his wife before he adds: “I took a commitment when I decided to marry Mireille and that commitment means I want to be with her for the rest of my life. So if she had to leave me, then I would use the time we’re separated to do my utmost to save our marriage and bring her back. If that fails, then I think I would stay single, yes. I don’t think I would want to go and live with someone else.”

He said this was in fact the norm for separated people and quoted the 2005 National Statistics Office survey which found that about 80 per cent of separated people in Malta live on their own.

Ms Cordina says: “Of course, you have to go through it to know what it means. But at the moment I’m working on strengthening my marriage so we never get to that point.”

Their advice to friends going through the process of separation is to keep calm and not rush into things.

They believe a divorce law would weaken the bond of marriage, even though no one would be forcing it upon anyone.

“If the state had a divorce law it would be very easy for me to start getting nagging thoughts like: ‘Am I really going to spend all my life with Mireille?’ Every day I will start considering the option of divorce,” Mr Cordina said.

Consequently, a divorce law would increase marital breakdown and his wife believes divorce would make it easier for people to pack up and leave instead of trying hard to solve the problem.

She stressed she would not want her children to grow up in a “divorce-mentality society” where marriage would be something disposable.

They don’t really believe people should be given a second chance in love. Mr Cordina said: “If my marriage fails, I don’t want the state to pat me on the back, put on Cliff Richard’s Congratulations record and tell me: ‘Don’t worry, it didn’t work out, here, try again’.”

Nor do they see divorce as a necessity for offering a legal framework for separated people setting up second families.

“They are a minority. Please don’t think we don’t empathise with them. Of course we do and each story carries its weight of pain. However, I cannot expect that because some people are going through a trauma – and a marriage breakdown is trauma – we ought to make a law for the individual. We have to look at the common good of society.”

Instead of a divorce law, the state should be strengthening families, helping couples who are about to marry to make sure they are aware what kind of commitment they are getting themselves into.

“Someone who does not honour the marriage vows is making a grave mistake. It’s a commitment which has to be honoured,” he insists.

The couple is concerned with the amount of misinformation out there and which the movement they joined aims to remedy.

They are very aware some people might take it against them for being frontline members. Ms Cordina said: “I know we will get a lot of flak for our stand. But we really believe in it. What I hate is that people think I am trying to impose. I am not. This is our opinion. I strongly believe in it and that is why we decided to contribute to the campaign. At the end of the day, we will respect any outcome.”