Welcome to The Money Coach, a Times of Malta column where readers can ask questions about life's money issues. Send your questions about personal finances, inheritance, gifting or other personal finance topics to moneycoach@timesofmalta.com

Dear Luca,

After eight years of marriage, my wife and I have finally become parents. We're overjoyed. They were eight years of trying, failing, going through many tests, even trying IVF… and then finally having that bundle of joy in our hands.

During these eight years, we’ve been saving for when the child was born, even though in the past two years the situation seemed bleak after so many failures.

Now, I can confidently say that we’re in a comfortable position when it comes to finances and can cover any expenses.

Our son is now five months old, and I’m feeling another kind of stress, and that is the care of our child. I understand that nowadays there are many options, including free childcare… however, I strongly believe that a child should be brought up by their parents, at least until the age of two.

We have enough savings to make this happen. You may call me a traditionalist here, but I believe my wife should stop working, at least temporarily, to take care of our son.

Don’t get me wrong, I have huge respect for my wife and the success she’s had in her career so far (she’s a director at an established company), but I still can’t shake the traditional idea that children need their mother around more than their father.

It’s a tricky situation, as I’m afraid she might feel like I’m dismissing what she’s achieved over the years. Plus, the fact that she earns more than I do could make her think I’m putting financial strain on the family.

How do I start this conversation without causing tension? 

Luca Responds

Firstly, congratulations on the birth of your son! Having two children myself, I understand that joy perfectly!

The fact that you have enough savings to reduce the workload and care for your son is great. However, here’s a question for you: Why are you considering your wife as the main caregiver? Is it connected to your beliefs, or maybe it’s because this is traditionally expected?

From a financial perspective, it might make more sense for you to take a step back from work (if that’s possible). I understand you’re approaching this from a traditional point of view, but I firmly believe that you, as a father, can provide just as much care for your son as your wife can.

Of course, if your wife is okay with taking a step back and focusing on your son, that’s fine, but I wouldn’t approach this with ‘Hey, I was thinking you should stop working to take care of our son.’ That would come across as too patriarchal, in my opinion.

A healthy discussion is key, and you’re lucky enough to have the financial stability to facilitate that discussion (thanks to your savings over the years). I’d recommend being open to the idea of taking care of your son yourself as well. This will not only keep your finances stronger, but it’ll also promote a sense of equality in your relationship when it comes to caregiving.

Luca is the founder of the Money Coaching Hub. Email him your financial questions or your response to today's question for a chance to be featured in a future column.

Disclaimer: This column is intended to provide general information on various topics related to personal finance. The information provided is for educational purposes only and should not be construed as personalised financial advice for your specific situation. Financial decisions are highly individual and can vary greatly based on your unique circumstances, goals, and risk tolerance. The author of this column is not authorised to provide financial advice. Before making any financial decisions, it is recommended to seek professional financial advice from an authorised financial advisor.