You want me to work, but you also want me to stay home with three kids. You want me to be pregnant, but you refuse to provide proper healthcare. You want me to raise well-adjusted children, but you also demand that I be available to work 24/7. You want my parents to quit their jobs to care for their grandchildren, but you won’t pay them for their time. And you want men to step up as carers, yet you’ve entrenched a system that tells them it’s not their place.
Let’s talk about Malta’s parental leave – frankly, Malta is embarrassingly behind. New mothers are entitled to a mere 18 weeks of maternity leave (only 14 of which are paid), and fathers get just 10 days of paid leave to be taken right after the birth of their child.
More importantly, while Malta does have a framework for paid parental leave – four months per parent, non-transferable and having numerous caveats – it still falls far short of society’s apparent needs.
There’s no robust system for shared, paid parental leave, which could help families balance caregiving responsibilities more equitably. In other EU countries, paid parental leave policies actively encourage both parents to take time off, allowing them to share the load and be more actively involved in raising their children. If we want to make parenting a feasible choice, we need to push for policies that reflect the realities of modern families, including financial support during parental leave to ensure it’s an option for everyone.
It’s not family values; it’s systemic failure.
A recent article in Times of Malta pointed out that only one per cent of Maltese men lead in childcare responsibilities. That’s not just an individual choice; it’s a direct result of a system that does everything it can to keep children tied to women’s apron strings. The government talks about raising birth rates while doing absolutely nothing to make parenting feasible. There are no green spaces for kids to run, no genuine drive to balance out the playing field between mothers and fathers, and no push for wages that match the skyrocketing cost of living.
The burden falls squarely on women’s shoulders, and then they wonder why we’re not jumping at the chance to have more kids.
Let’s not even get started on sexual health policy. After over a decade of waiting, Malta has finally presented a Sexual Health Strategy for 2025-2030. However, this ‘strategy’ (not policy, note) conveniently sidesteps critical issues like abortion. Contraceptive options are limited, abortion remains criminalised, and, while there’s talk of improving sex education, the lack of clear benchmarks means the government has essentially given itself six more years to faff about without accountability.
The connection between the lack of sexual and reproductive health rights and the decision to have children couldn’t be clearer: over 50 per cent of women who accessed medical abortion services in Malta between 2021 and 2023 were already mothers. These statistics highlight a glaring reality: women understand the immense cost – financial, emotional and physical – of raising children in a system that offers so little support.
These are not abstract statistics – they’re real women who know exactly what it takes to raise a child in this country and are making decisions accordingly.
Heaven forbid we have an honest conversation about family planning, pregnancy prevention, or reproductive autonomy. Acknowledging that an ectopic pregnancy in this country could legitimately be a death sentence for anyone without privilege and connections? Unthinkable.
As for birthing rights, they’re practically non-existent. Women are still unable to have a doula present during childbirth in state hospitals, and there are countless stories of a lack of informed consent during medical procedures. These gaps highlight the urgent need for comprehensive reforms to ensure women’s health and autonomy are prioritised.
The government talks about raising birth rates while doing absolutely nothing to make parenting feasible- Emma Portelli Bonnici
Meanwhile, public perception only adds fuel to the fire. A recent survey revealed that a shocking 20 per cent of Maltese people believe that women are partially to blame if they are raped while drunk. Pair that with another poll showing that a majority think feminism has ‘gone too far’ and it becomes clear that societal attitudes are as much a barrier to equality as governmental inaction.
When victim-blaming and outdated views about gender roles persist, how can we expect meaningful progress on policies that empower women?
And while we’re at it, I’d like to address Rose Marie Azzopardi’s study. While her analysis may have been limited to the remit of the economy, it’s impossible to examine these issues in isolation. Just like everything else in this country, they need to be addressed holistically, to do so in any other manner does the reader a disservice. The root causes behind societal statistics must be investigated if we are to take anything fruitful from studies like this.
Furthermore, I have a dog, who I love dearly – and he’s not going to be ‘forgotten’ any time soon. Unlike certain public figures who think women should trade in their pets for babies (looking at you, US VP-elect JD Vance), my dog offers unconditional companionship without expecting me to sacrifice my career, my relationships, or my autonomy.
In fact, he’s the only dependent in my life who actually takes cognisance of my wishes and needs and he acts accordingly. It’s a level of consideration that, quite frankly, puts some legislators to shame.
What’s truly infuriating is the constant gaslighting. Women aren’t refusing to have kids because we’re selfish, lazy or have too many cats. We’re refusing because the system is broken. If Malta wants us to have children, it’s time to step up. Give us affordable childcare, comprehensive parental leave policies that match – or go above and beyond – EU standards and healthcare that doesn’t treat women as afterthoughts.
Let fathers be fathers by creating policies that encourage them to take on caregiving roles. And, for the love of all that is holy, stop blaming us for making rational decisions in the face of an irrational system. This relentless push for women to juggle full-time careers, raise multiple children and manage households without adequate support isn’t just unrealistic, it’s a capitalist fever dream designed to exploit our labour both at work and at home.
If we don’t want to birth and raise three kids in this country and in this economy, maybe the problem isn’t us. Have you thought that maybe – just maybe – the problem is you?
Emma Portelli Bonnici is a lawyer, lecturer, feminist and advocate for sexual and reproductive health and rights.
Emma Portelli Bonnici