Welcome to The Money Coach, a Times of Malta column where readers can ask questions about life's money issues. Send your questions about personal finances, inheritance, gifting or other personal finance topics to moneycoach@timesofmalta.com

Dear Luca,

I’m 55 years old, and life has taken a turn for the better. My children have moved out. I received a promotion at work. My investments are up. Retirement is closer than ever. My wife has reduced her workload and is taking better care of her health (she’s 10 years older than me and recently ended cancer treatment).

But there's a potential problem. 

I recently received a call from my youngest son, who’s 25 years old: “Dad, I want to start saving and investing regularly. But I can’t do that while paying rent. Can I move back in for a few years until things get better?”

I have to admit, the request caught me off guard. All I could say was, “Come, we’ll discuss. I’ll always be there for you.”

But now that I’ve had time to think about it, I’m not so sure. Having my son move back would mean additional expenses that I thought were behind me. It’s not something I like admitting, but I’m worried about the extra financial strain this could bring.

That said, him living with us to save and invest isn’t a bad thing. In fact, I was proud to hear him say that. But the extra expenses for a number of years can put my future retirement plans in jeopardy.

I might sound selfish here, but I had finally said to myself, “It’s me and my wife now,” enjoying life after years of sacrifice for our children. And now it feels like we’re going back to square one.

So that’s my situation. How do I handle this in a way that keeps my relationship with my son strong, but at the same time doesn’t make me lose what I was just starting to enjoy?

A Worried Dad 

Luca responds

It's every parent's instinct to want to protect their children, but I completely understand that this might feel overwhelming.

Your son coming back home to save money might sound reasonable. After all, you didn’t say that your son was reckless - he's most likely asking this favour due to the rising cost of living, and saving on rent will definitely boost his savings significantly.

However, as you’ve noted, this will put some strain on your own finances. You might want to consider setting some conditions for his return, such as:

a. He pays for his own food.

b. He contributes to the electricity and water bills.

c. You could even introduce a small rental fee that is much lower than rent, but ensures he doesn’t get too comfortable and helps him stay motivated.

There’s nothing stopping you from saying no outright to his request either, but I understand you want to give him a chance to build his savings while you still can.

You might want to impose a time limit on his stay—something like, “Yes, let’s try this for three years, but after that, I want you to start focusing on independence again.”

It may sound harsh, but it would be much worse to let him live at home indefinitely, which isn’t ideal, especially if your son aims to achieve financial independence and build a life for himself.= 

 Luca is the founder of the Money Coaching Hub. Email him your financial questions or your response to today's question at moneycoach@timesofmalta.com for a chance to be featured in a future column.